That's Dr. Skip To You

A Maniwaki sized congrats to the Skip on his epic achievement, receiving his PhD today from L'Université McGill. The road to this championship was indeed a long one, and not without it's share of set backs, but a solid work ethic, coupled with an unwavering focus has at long last resulted in academia's highest distinction.

On the nod from the fellows. Good work.

Taking A Knee With Coach Maddon

Look, although the Devil Rays are div rivals, the Mauler is big fan of Joe Maddon. And while hockey in the creepy state is still a bad idea (Stevie Y or no) baseball squads wearing hockey jerseys on road trips to Canada is most definitely good for baseball.

Squalid Saturday

Ok things Saturday were ugly. First this. Then this. Then a complete heartbreaker with this. (sorry Steve.)

But this? Just plain nasty. Sure Doc's no longer a Jay, but how can you still not root for him? What an absolute masterpiece, twisted up by a guy more than deserving of it, who already has a long list of complete games on his CV.

Just think. What will happen when he pitches in October?

The NBA. Where La Revolución Happens

So while the Ron Artest Bros. circus continues in the west, looks like it's business as uszh in the east.

Yup, the Celtics dispelled the Magic and clinched a spot in the Finals. Horay. So now whilst Jack and the rest of the world await the oh so tired basketball version of Yanks/Red Sox, the racial profile state hopes the "classic match up" will get quashed as if it were the Fourth Amendment.

Gotta hand to the Suns though for refusing to go away, and for already making a political statement in the sterile, sanitary, Stern NBA. You root for them, you not only root for Nash. You root against mediocrity. You root against plastic surgery and soul stealing Hollywood films. You reject not only the power structure in the NBA, you cheer voraciously for the American dream which promises liberty and equality for all.

Viva La Revolución.

More Heartbreak In The Lower Mainland

Oh man. Look, we've got nothing left around here to root for. The Canucks are long gone and the Stanley Cup Finals are set, ensuring the Cup will stay out of Canada for yet another year.

So I've been following Steve Nash and the Suns battle the Lakers in the West Finals. And tonight? Shades of Reggie Miller as the Suns (down by 18 pts at one point) started draining threes to climb back into the game. A lunatic three, three point attempts in the final 10 seconds as the Suns were able to rebound each, finally resulted in one to tie the game. I was losing my mind like it was '94 Pacers/Knicks.

And for what to happen. A shanked shot by Kobe followed by the Ron Artest rebound to seal it for the Lakers with a sliver of time on the clock. After the oh so ridiculous Artest made a huge gaffe, choosing to shoot instead of running the clock down in the final minute.

Ouch. Nash had nailed 29 points himself. Frye fired three threes. And the Suns came so close to going up on the Yankees of the NBA. Damn. Just when I thought I was done sweating elimination games this spring...

The Centre Of The Loser-verse

Holy fuck if, just when you thought the Toronto media couldn't possibly get anymore self obsessed and ultimately inane, the Sportsnet publishes this piece of geo-centric, Leafs e-shit.

Just. Speechless.

Maniwaki Prescription

Man I feel rough. Like Steve Nash's mug after a play off game. But the chicken pho, complete first season of Lost, next two days off and Suns win tonight are a surefire remedy to get me back in business.

MY FEELINGS ABOUT THE PLAYOFFS

Shit.

- the Skip

The Bane Of The West Coast

Dustin Byfuglien how do I hate thee? Let me count the ways.

As you parketh your ass in front of creases from Vancity to San Jose

And hapless defensemen merely gaze on

Like the spectators in the stands

Who have certainly not paid their admittance

To watch you prance past them

Weilding your blade

Like Conan of Cimmeria

Celebrating a tally as if it were a freshly slain goblin

Or Orc

Or Orca

Banished to defense during the regular season

Elevated to power play during the season of post

Which would be an apt nick name

As it represents both style of play and intelligence quotient

Which for some baffling reason has produced an offense so potent

With the help of a young, mulleted, privileged, fraternity brother on your flank

Who for half of those points you certainly must thank

As we brace our selves for the Series Finale

In which we must suffer through that obnoxious lamp lighting song by The Fratellis

My Mantra For The Next 40 Hours

All I have to say is this. If anyone can come back from 3 -1, it's these guys.

The Maniwaki Editing Room

Oh my god, I just love hockey. I'm sitting in HQ with my morning scoop, and a dog on either side, trying to come up with a snippet about last night's Habs game. Of course the only thing that really tells the whole story was the first goal. So I wrote this:

How good did you feel after you saw Mike Cammalleri score this one last night? And after dishing out a well deserved cross check to clear some space? Cue the slow-mo and piano music...

And then went looking for this:



But what I actually found was this:



I just love these playoffs.

Safeco Game Ticker

So Dice and wife have made the trip down to Safeco for the second game of the only Jays trip out here all year. After last night's tilt, should be a good one. I'm keeping an eye on things from HQ and from the looks of things on the Sportsnet the weather's a little better down the I5 than it is here. I'll keep a sporadic ticker going on the game before heading off to the shack.

1st.

Looks like another slew of Jays fans invading the Safeco. Good for baseball. Would be nice if they played more than two games in mid-May this season.

Seattle starter, Jason Vargas is sharp so far. But so is Romero.


2nd.

Overbay pops out. Surprise. I nominate him for the 2010 Pick Up A Struggling
Jay At Safeco Award. Former winners include John McDonald, and Rickey Romero.

Heard the first Amtrack of the day! Safeco rules.

3rd.

The Seattle squeeze! Figgy does nothing to help his atrocious .193 batting average, but does manage to score Bard. 1-0.

4th.

How can you not love Aaron Hill? Especially after legging out that single.

Vernon Wells. .307, 12 HR, 32 RBI. mid May.

5th

Overbay strikes out. Don't worry Lyle. You'll be the hero of the Northwest today.

Holy Jose! Two run jack for Bautista!! 2-1 Jays.

Ichiro up with one out, two on. Always love how he draws his bat like it's a katana. Oh look. A little slapper to advance the runner. Forget Microsoft and Bowing. The most solid stock in Seattle is Ichiro Ltd.

6th.

Rolling Romero. 1-2-3 inning with 2 K's.

7th.

Holy Centralia!! Now sitting on first base with a single, Lyle Overbay. And hey he advanced to third after Gonzalez cranked a ground rule double. Now crossing the plate after a sac fly from Encarncion. 3-1 Jays.

Second Amtrack of the day signaling the end of Overbay's slump. And a Seattle pitching change.

8th.

Downs on the mound. Ichiro up. A high slap chop and Downs and Molina actually crash into each other trying to snag it. Ichiro on first. Crafty.

Downs out. Camp in. Holy Wakamatsu! One of the many MLB Molina brothers threw out Ichiro! I think it was Jose, the one we have right now. And the Seattle skip gets ejected for arguing.

9th.

If you would've told me in the off season that Cubs reject, Kevin Gregg would be:

a. our closer.

b. reliable and;

c. leading the league in saves

I would've called you a bigger BS'er than Rafael Palmeiro. Oh hold on. Two on, none out. And the recently returned from anger rehab, Milton Bradley up at the plate.

...And a walk. Why do things eventually return to their natural order?

And another walk. 3-2. None out. Bases loaded. Unreal.

Sac fly courtesy of Josh Bard. 3-3. Fuck off.

Now Junior. I think we all know how this is going to end.

.....and yup. A base hit into right. 4-3. Damn. Hope Dice isn't too pissed. Thank God, the Jays packing up and heading to Arizona as I think we should all avoid attending any other live Jays games this season.

Talk about a real Batista.

Les Bleu, Blanc et Ouch!

Watched the game from the shack last night. And I have to say, what concerned me the most, was not the fact that the Habs couldn't score, but instead it was the look on Mike Cammalleri's face during the post game. He looked just positively rattled.

Philly is doing to Montreal what Chicago did to us, but even better. When did they learn how to play a disciplined, defensive system? Or at least learn to create the create the illusion of one? I don't think I've ever seen a more impregnable net, as it seemed every shooting lane was philibustered.

Despite the Habs still firing off 30 shots. This Michael Leighton character definitely contributed to the Flyers' David Blaine defence as once again he practically levitated in the crease.

Also and underestimated factor, was the utter ruckusness of the Wachovia Centre. Philly definitely knows how to use the home ice advantage to their advantage. Luckily though, so do the Habs, as I can't wait to see what the Bell Centre brings tomorrow night. Head up Mike. They can't call a too many men on the ice for 19 000+.

Pride Of The North West

So now that the Canucks have done their obligatory second round exit, it seems that the only shred of pride we can salvage around here is watching Steve Nash and the Suns. Which is fine by me.

Unlike the Canucks, here's a BC resident who plays with heart. Here's a guy that finally learns and ultimately vanquishes the villainous team that knocked him around in the past. A guy that will stop at nothing to finally hoist his deserved Champs Trophy.

And although Jack and the rest of the Hollywood Squares were enjoying the show at the Staples Center tonight, they better not puff to hard on their Cohibas, as Nash most certainly will have an answer for Kobe in Game 2.

Vengeance Maintenant

Wow that was a real tough one. Instead why don't we reflect on times more joyeux.

Looking Past Lou

So now that I'll be less locked into the Stanley Cup, (of course I've taken up the bleu, blance et rouge cause however), let's look around some of the other sporting realms to see what's what.

1. Lebron's Out? Ugggh. I'd like to have seen the Cavs win the whole thing. Who's his point guard? Roberto Luongo? Like the Skip said, "Say goodbye to basketball in Cleveland."

2. Phil Being Phil. To be expected. But better is the response by future Coach Of The Year, Steve Nash.

3. CGS4RR. And that's the first complete game shut out for Rickey Romero. Not some third tier droid sitting in some dark corner of a sand crawler.

Broad Street Barbarian

And I thought it sucked to be a Canucks fan. Wow. What a collapse. Up 3-0, en route to setting up a match made in Stanley Cup heaven, namely a Bruins/Habs East Final, and the Boston gets beat by Philly.

I mean sure, getting ousted by Byfuglien and the Hawks was bad. But at least we didn't lose four straight to this guy.

"RAWWRR!! ME EAT LOOCH FOR LUNCH!!"

The Great Canadien Adventure

So the Skip, Mate, Spouse, Brother Carn and I decided that since we were in Sasky, and the river had a healthy height to it, the only course of action was to canoe downstream like good Canadians. Now I could spend all day recanting our fantastic voyage, but I figure instead you'd prefer to see the slides.

As for the Skip and Mate it was a good way to take their minds off Game 7, which turned out to have an incredibly favourable outcome. Had they remained in the house I'm sure some of the joists of Ranch HQ would've buckled from excess pacing. In the end, everything worked out, as we were greeted by Ma, G-Ma and Waldo. Parked the rafts, portaged them to the truck. Made Casears and planted ourselves around the telly to take in another absolute Canadian classic.

Now this is Maniwaki Country.

No Honking Zone

At the ranch, and have just watched this utterly putrid game. Yet, I don't feel as sullen or as downtrodden as the many fans shown sitting in the stands still trying to process the 5-1 second round series ender.

I just feel contempt. Completely and utterly.

For a team who:

- is not mentally tough enough to play with a lead, be it a game or a series.

- allow themselves to be beaten by one man. For the second year in a row. After it has been announced that the opposing team's game plan involving said man would be a repeat of last year.

- gets ahead of itself and starts planning for the next round in the second period of Game 2.

- boasts a Gold Medal goal tender and an Art Ross forward.

- put up an incredible home record in the regular season, then shit the Garage in the post.

- lost in the exact number of games to the exact same team. A year to the day from when it happened last year.

- collapses like clockwork. So much so that you can read practically any post that I've put up in the last few months which predicts it.

- got blown out and subsequently eliminated in the only game I could actually sit down, drink beer and watch.

Like I've said before. At least I'm not in town for this one. And will forget this utterly sorry, sorry hockey squad, by sitting in a canoe and floating down the river tomorrow.

See you next year, when we repeat this utterly ridiculous process.

Pre game Skate On The Assiniboine

At Sasky HQ. Just came back from an epic perogy feed at Grandma's, followed by a trip to Kamsack. Sas Kam Sportsman had a few Canucks jerseys, in the hometown hero, Hordichuck variety. A purchase was most definitely going to be made, but XL was the only size available.

Perhaps a few more weeks of serious sowing and she'd fit.

So prophetic was our visit, that while we were visiting the town (which unfortunately has been traditionally tense along racial lines) a bona fide surly Blackhawk tried to throw us off our game trying to draw us into taking a needless penalty. We weren't biting, and remain focused on the task at hand.

We're cuing up the big screen, as the puck drops in just over an hour. We have a ton of leftovers. Smoked meat, poutine, and three massive rings of koubassa. And a fridge full of Honey Rickards.

Game 6. Bring it.

Une Bonne Anniversaire

A big birthday bash for Ma tonight to celebrate a milestone. A menu featuring salmon from the wast, smoked meat from the east, lasagna from the far east and shish from down the road. Good people, good eats, and a good time had by all.

Especially the Mate and Skip, as the former was running laps around the living room after every Habitant goal, and the latter hollered in agreement in between rotating the brisket. Good for baseball. Good for hockey. Good for Sasky.

So we have one Game 7. And I can only hope that in 24 hours I'm drunkenly running like a fool to the river because of the second.

A Real Good One

Just a great day in the prairies. Why?

1. Cousin Trishika's post wedding shindig last night. Just epic. A true Sasky shake'r and a good time had by all.

2. Brother Carn beaming as he came off a weekend stay in his favourite hotel and;

3. Dined at a particular seafood restaurant that he's had his eye on for years. Pajikstan, the Spouse and I in tow. Good eats.

4. Another great drive from the city to Ranch HQ. Open skies in Sasky. Can't beat'em.

5. The sporting spectacle pulling through, with a huge Canucks win, a Jays win, a bloodied but unbowed Nash leading the Suns to a series victory over the dastardly Spurs. Oh, and the best Mother's Day story ever, with Dallas Braden pitching a perfect game for the A's and hugging his grandma at the dugout.

6. A great reconvene around a vino and appies on the kitchen island. Where;

7. Another announcement of wedding bells was made. Congrats to Ma and Alfredo on their ceremonials!

My Roots Prevail

So in Saskatoon. Down 3-1. And what have I gained? Insight. Much more. Expanded upon throughout the week.

Compare And Contrast

When did the Montreal Canadiens wake up and go, "Hey? We're the Montreal Canadiens?"

They stick it to Crosby again, and come back in the third tonight to tie the series. My God this is some of the most compelling hockey I've witnessed since....well... the Olympics...but whatevs...damn compelling.

And inspiring. I always knew Mike Cammalleri was something else but to see him step it up in hockey's rink, and make a case for Captain, is light years beyond good for hockey.

To see the entire Montreal defense risk limbs and tooth enamel to block shots definitely give them the 2010 Reg Dunlop Award. And Jaroslav Halak. Where to start? I always knew those Slovaks play with heart.

Contrast with:

The Canucks, essentially being beaten by one man. For the second year in a row. And getting their faces rubbed in it. On home ice.

All I know is that tomorrow I'm going to hop on a WestJet and head out to Sasky. I'm going to land. Check in. And find a bar to watch the biggest game of the year. I'm expecting a true Western Canadian effort tomorrow by the lads. And I'm expecting the Assiniboine Assassin to suit up.

Enough of this shit.

Not So Much...

Surprised? Not this guy. Byfuglien. Hat Trick. Yup. I don't care how big he is. I know if I went down to GM Place and suited up with the Orca jersey, I know I would move that motherfucker out of the crease myself. Sign me bitches.

THE WORST RUNNING DIARY EVER

The following is a loose transcription of conversations overheard at the Sugar Shack during Habs-Pens Game 3:

FIRST PERIOD

20:00-0:00
Ahhhhhh.....

SECOND PERIOD

20:00-0:00
Ugggghhhh...

THIRD PERIOD

20:00-18:45
Hoooooooo.......

18:44
Ohhhhhhhh.....

18:43-0:00
[silence]

Let us hope for better things on Thursday night.

- the Skip

Canucks Blow Early Lead. Shit The Rink.

Holy fuck do I really need to write about this? Do you really want to read it? How many different ways can I frame this same old, tired, tired, tired ass story? I don't know...

The only thing I can say is that I had a game plan. And perhaps I deviated from it slightly.

ARRET / STOP

Not even kidding. This is a sign - officially sanctioned by la Ville de Montreal - seen at a construction site on the side of the highway.

Anglo/Franco angst has at last been put to rest, as a final decision has been taken on what text to incorporate on street signs....

Yup.

I believe that says everything that needs to be said right now.

- the Skip

Barrage At The Bar-mitzvah

An episode of "Entourage - Hollywood North" at the shack tonight as there were a few silver screen recognizables at the hosted barmitzvah in the park. A great function all around (the first I've ever been in attendance) and it made me wish that I would've had a big shindig at 13 for my transition to manhood, as it would've beat growing a bad teenage mustache and listening to Dokken.

I was sure Ari Gold was going to show up.

I was pouring furiously. Yet flowing even heavier, was the onslaught of Canucks goals going on the telly behind me. Like firecrackers going off every few minutes, I heard these random snippets:

"Kesler put one in."

"Hank!"

"Wellwood."

What? And then I found out later, Grabner and Ehrhoff. It all happened at light speed. By the time I turned around Bob had set the ship right in a game that we had a year to get ready for. I was surprised. But I wasn't complaining.

Could it be that the Canucks had their own Barmitzvah tonight, transitioning into collective lower mainland hockey manhood?

They sure showed some chutzpah.