HEIL OF AN EFFORT

Dear colleagues at CTV, TSN, and Sportsnet;

Did you know that Canada's never won a gold medal on home soil?

And that no Canadian athlete has ever won a gold medal in an Olympiad that was hosted by a city in Canada?

And that there has never been a situation in which - during an Olympic Games taking place in Canada - an athlete born in Canada was crowned champion?

And that "O Canada" has never been played during an Olympic medal ceremony that took place in Calgary, Montreal, or Vancouver as a Canadian (individual or team) stood atop the podium?

And that there has never been a person who, at the time, was in (exclusive) possession of a Canadian passport while winning an Olympic event that took place in the summer of 1976, the winter of 1988, or the winter of 2010?

And that, heretofore, no person ever having been born in one of ten Canadian provinces or three Canadian territories, who, having been trained as an Olympic athlete, went on to compete in a domestic Olympic competition, and, after all results were posted - being timed, measured, or judged - was selected from amongst all other competitors (*caveat - this refers only to all other competitors, who, also having competed in the same Olympic competitive event, were not Canadian residents or citizens, and, thus, by extension, were - by default - residents and or citizens of other nations in the world) to be deemed the victor, and thus, in the process, was considered (athletically) - at a minimum, on that given day - the best (in a selected game, match, or particular skill set) of all (people who were born and / or resided under another federal jurisdiction, Canada notwithstanding, unless, of course, the compatriot bested another Canadian resident in an Olympic Games on home soil (or ice...or snow, if the crystalline structure of the solid-state water was in a slightly different form), though the second Canadian athlete was not granted a victory lap, high-five, or interview) - one person who, internationally, was considered (legally) Canadian left the awards ceremony with the largest bouquet of flowers and the shiniest and - when in consideration of current-day precious metals markets - most valuable slightly rounded object hung from a ribbon (or some similar manner of medal-mounting device and/or object) 'round his or her (or their, should the case have been a team, and thus not individual, Olympic event) neck(s).

Enough.

We get it.

If I need to watch Jamie Campbell and his over-coiffed 'do or Jennifer "need-to-eat-a-steak" Hedger remind us once more that we're still awaiting a champion here in Vancouver, I don't know what I'm going to do.

Which brings us to Jennifer Heil.

Poor girl.

With the weight of 9,984,670 square kilometers of rocks, trees, and snow on her 5'4" frame, she blasted through the driving winds and rains to come up a painful 0.94 points short of shutting everyone up.

And oh would that have been nice.

Not just because she would instantaneously have become part of Canadian Olympic lore, nor simply because it would have forced our domestic broadcasters to choose a new point to beleaguer.

Instead, I wish she could have won it for her. Just her. Not for the 30 million other residents whom she graciously acknowledged as having elevated her to this level, not for the seven-year-old girl who sent her a hand-drawn image of a Canadian standing atop the podium (on home soil, no less!!), and certainly not for the myriad journalists that have earned their keep to this point by going on ad nauseum about one and only one storyline.

The pain and confusion expressed on her face last night as she stood book-ended by stars and stripes revealed that the woman we all respect and admire and whose spirit we all aspire to embody has hopes and dreams of her own.

For the 30 minutes following the final run leading up to the podium ceremony, she was the seven-year-old girl who wanted to sketch out a childhood dream with her sharp new set of Crayolas and send it away to her hero.

If only someone had given her a piece of paper.

Jennifer. From the Sugar Shack, we're proud of you. And don't let any Duthie, Osmak, or Williams make you think any differently.

Not for one moment.

- the Skip