Support Your Firm

Happy All Hallow's all. Not so much for our local squad last night though. Dice and I got caked, ate wings, and watched the horror show unfold on the big screen at the local tavern.

So with pints and the home team in mind, I have decided to start my own firm, and suit up as a soccer hooligan for this eve. Doing a little internet digging this morning, I have to say that many of these crews are quite creative when it comes to deeming their packs. Top marks go to Bolton Cuckoo Boys and Newcastle Gremlins, and holy fuck get ready for this... Stoke City Naughty Forty. Brilliant!!!

No initial inclination as to what to name my firm yet, but I shall endeavor to find one before kick off tonight. Maulers Crew? Pretty generic. Maniwaki Mayhem Firm? getting there...Maybe I should open it up to the Maniwaki Nation (hey not bad...) itself. If you have any ideas as to what to name my fledgling firm, feel free to send them to me, the Top Boy at the ".... ......" firm.

Bring the ruck!

A Solid Call?

Ok, if this isn't the exclamation point at the end of the "Me Am Bizzaro Playoffs" sentence then I don't know what is. I'm actually with the Commish on this one. Yup.

Who's Your MVP?

Barney Millering in sitcom land so I missed Game 2. Must say that everything thus far has pretty much unfolded as expected. Ryan Howard and Co. pulled out the Philly barbecue and flung out plenty of cheese teaks for the NY crowd.Six in all to be exact.

Tonight however things went a little wonky as AJ outduelled Pedro in the Yanks table turner. "Who's your Daddy?" chants and all. Although he lost both games, the mango tree assassin is the Maniwaki MVP frontrunner so far this October. I can only hope The Series goes seven games and Pedro gets called in from the bullpen in the 7th to hold the line. In which you know he'll shut them all up.

IT HAS BEGUN!!!!

Ok, things at HQ are flying faster than texts from the Canucks dressing room to Vancouver General. Here's the quick Series preview before the opening pitch.

1. This is going to be the real deal. Philly is for all intents and purposes an AL team. Big. Bad. Bats.

2. The Phillies staff edges out the Yanks. Only by an AJ Burnett.

3. Pedro is pitching in Yankee Stadium tomorrow. In the World Series. Against the Yankees. I might cry.

4. Mariano vs a surprisingly solid Brad Lidge. Most likely every night.

5. A replay of Game 4 of the '93 Series will most certainly happen.

6. It's the first inning and Utley has just zipped over to third on a the obligatory two out Ryan Howard double.

Ok, I gotta go and tune in. This is already exceeding expectations. And it's only the top of the first.

Bring Back Bibby!

Ok, the NBA regular season kicks off tonight, and I'm still lamenting the loss of the Grizz, especially with Nash and the Suns preseason game last week acting as the phantom limb. After surfing around the super highweb I've found this interesting piece re: the Grizz's lack of draft pool during their years here in Van. Please peruse and join me as I bid on 00/01 Bibby jerseys on Ebay.

The Leafs Beat A Struggling Squad From SoCal

Plan the parade down Yonge St.

Let the 09/10 NHL season be known as the year that I officially joined the ranks of the Anti-Leaf Resistance. Fuck this organization. For the next week, the rest of Canada is going to have to watch to the media circle jerk Burke, Wilson and the Buds, lauding them on their first win of the season. Only after playing nearly a months worth of games.

Ask yourself these questions and then try not try and mail bomb the MLSE, TSN, Sportsnet Ontario and CBC front offices.

1. If my team had gone three weeks into the regular season without a single win would my coach still have a job?

2. If my team had registered only a single point (an opening night OT appearance) in nearly a month, would it not be fair to expect some serious lambasting from multiple national media outlets?

3. If my team's GM traded away the squad's top draft two picks for the next year and top pick for the following year to acquire a guy who's notoriously selfish and injury prone and who just so happens to be sitting in the infirmary right now, would it not be fair to expect some backlash in the media towards said GM? Should this scrutiny be intensified if he was the head boss of the biggest hockey market on the planet?

4. If my team set the record for their worst start in franchise history, on the national stage, in a game that had its start time adjusted to meet said team's prime time TV slot at the expense of the home team, do you think that these Leafs apologists respected hockey journalists would have some creative critiques and analyses other than justchampioning the Leafs spirited play.

If I have to hear one more time about how the crown jewel of MLSE outplayed the Canucks last Saturday, I'm going to hire Optimus Prime and his crew to uproot the CN Tower and jab through the fucking ACC. Repeatedly.

Week 7. Mildly Interesting.

Ok, so since every Sunday seems to be the Brett Favre show on Sportsnet, I figured I'd tune in for my obligatory 5 minutes to see if he could continue to command the Viking ship. Aside from my regular penalty flag, challenge filled gripes, I did find these plays mildly compelling.

1. Favre getting rocked in the fourth, fumbling the ball, only to have this guy somehow run the length of the field for the TD. At what honestly seemed like .25 miles per hour.

2. The Vikings respond by running the ensuing kick return for a touchdown.

3. Favre fucking up again, throwing an interception to Keyaron Fox who zipped back for yet another one. Thus the Steelers stuck it to the Vikings to the tune of 27-17, handing them their first loss on the season.

I might watch a whole quarter next week.

And Its Event Horizon Intensifies...

Ha. Ha. Ha. As the NHL, CBC and powers that be in centre of the universe made sure that the Canucks home game started early in order to broadcast THE UNDISPUTED WORST START TO A LEAFS SEASON. EVER.

Saw this post from the above link to the CBC site and just had to share:

"Latest memo from the Toronto Maple Laughs to their fan(s):

Once again we want to congratulate the smartest fans in the NHL and thank you for the continued support of Canada's team.

I'm sure that you will agree that the team is progressing under our outstanding leadership and will soon be in a position to possibly win our first game of the season.

While we wait for this great event to occur, we wish to remind you to renew your season tickets for the 2010-2011 season before the 25% price increase. Early down payments will qualify for a draw to see the newly renovated executive offices and a personnaly escorted tour of Mr. Burke's Loo. All ticket renewals will automatically receive a roll of Maple Laugh toilet paper (MLTP) - a $5.95 value if bought at the Maple Laugh store in the ACC.

The Maple Laughs once again remind you that Christmas is coming and a roll of MLTP makes a great gift for any hockey fan on your gift list.

The Maple Laughs once again wish to thank the greatest hockey fans in the GTA for their continued support.

The parade down Yonge St. to commemorate the team's first win in the 2009-2010 season will be announced within 24 hours of the victory. We ask that all fans stay tuned to the local media for announcements regarding the official staring time."

"cptrain" if you don't have your own blog, I formally petition that you start one.

The Black Hole At The Centre Of The Universe

Man, I hate this eastern-centric bias. So we have to zip out early to GM Place, and have the game on during family din din hour, so that everyone around Lake Ont, has time to bring the kids back from the Welland or Etobicoke community rink, put the equipment in the garage, throw the sweaters in the washing machine, have a Loblaws sirloin for supper, have a bitch about Ignatieff and the Liberals, maybe a frozen Duncan Hines cake for dessert, then plunk themselves down in front of the Samsung only to watch Hockey Night In Toronto broadcast the Leafs bid for 0-8 At 7:00pm sharp?

Swell. I hope they get absolutely trounced to the tune of 8-0. A goal, for every game they've tanked. But what is wrong in Leaf land? I'm sure we'll hear plenty of commentary in the next few days/weeks/seasons/mywholefuckinglife. I'll tell you what's wrong with them. Starting from the coach's office, they have a combined IQ of about 25. See?

Hajime!

UFC 104 tomorrow with Shotokan Karateka and Maniwaki favourite, Lyto Machida. Undefeated in the Octagon, the Brazilian will square off against fellow Brazillian, "Shogun" Mauricio Rua in what is sure to be a samba strikefest. Never mind multiple mpegs of Machida's Octagon superiority. Here he is in a formal tournament, training the formal style, getting the decisive ippon. Textbook.

Nash. NBA. Now.

Ok just got back from the annual pre season Nash led NBA tune up. Some thoughts:

1. Like I said about a hundred times tonight. And about a million times before. Don't tell me Vancouver can't support an NBA team.

2. 19000 + can't be wrong. I was on the upper, upper deck and I couldn't take a piss at half time. The place was literally packed to the rafters. Literally. (I was literally swimming in my own piss.)

3. All to see Nash and (no offense to his MVPness) a lackluster Suns squad that couldn't step it up, much less finish in a pre season tilt that actually meant something.

4. As Nash was playing to win for the home town crowd. You could see it in the first quarter. He was a point guard possessed, feeding the ball to the perimeter (only to result in multiple bogies) and then attempted to do it himself.

5. Which of course was successful as he nailed the first Phoenix deuce of the game.

6. And extra points for trying to dunk on Greg Oden who's about 2 stories taller. (An aside. If Oden stays healthy this year, god help hoops as he will be the real life Sasquatch roaming the Pacific Northwest. eep.)

7. You can't tell me Canada doesn't support basketball. But never mind us. Before we get a team, that crooked commish needs to get ousted and Seattle should get first crack.

8. And we even stuck around till the end, as the Suns got absolutely slaughtered by a far superior Portland team. An ugly 113-93 final. Cats in the upper decks were trying their damndest to get up for the remotest hint of 4th quarter comeback. If Amare Stoudemire tied his shoes the wave started. For all intents and purposes it was a Grizzlies game in '01. And we still supported.

9. Phoenix needs some solid forwards. I'm sorry. They seem like the Red Wings of today with Nash serving as Lidstrom. Still highly effective, but who does he feed? If he wants a ring, he's going to have to move.

10. Enough pissing on the Pacific Northwest. I should be going to hoops games every week, not once a year. Cheap seats, not so cheap beer, a game that I (and the rest of the lower mainland) is asking for a reason to follow more than passively.

Give us a reason and we'll roll in already.

Pinstripe Power

...and no I'm not talking about the Yanks, as somewhere Alyssa Milano sits crying at the utter implosion of the LA Dodgers. What a meltdown. The bullpen practically threw out the red carpet to home plate for the Phills as runs scored on every imaginable scenario. Hit batsmen, runs walked in, and more bombs than if you were in the short porch in that new park in the Bronx.

Speaking of which. The Yanks are seriously going to have to have a sit down in the war room, if they think that they are going to traipse through some featherweight NL squad to win The World Series. What I have seen of the Phillies in this Championship Series has been nothing short of scary. Halloween scary.

They pitch. They hit. They routinely put up a ridiculous number of runs. 10-4 tonight. 11-0 a few nights ago. They come through in the clutch, as Jimmy Rollins hit the game winning RBI with two outs in the ninth, yesterday. That was the dagger that was plunged into the hearts of Dodgerland.

And if anyone felt it's icy blade the most it must've been Russell Martin. Goddam, I felt for him as the cameras panned over to him sitting in the dugout in the ninth. The look on his face was just one of sheer futility. And I must say that he had familiar a shade of Les Expos shrouding him as well as he's from Montreal, and grew up going to the Big O, and his blue ball hat was tilted up so you couldn't see the LA logo on it. For all intents and purposes he looked like Andre Dawson could've been sitting next to him in '81. Heart wrenching.

But. This is baseball. And now I have to watch two teams that I really can't get behind, duke it out for all the rings. At least if these LCS's have been any sort of barometer, we should be in for a highly entertaining bash fest down the eastern seaboard.

More Late Inning Madness

Seems like the shit did continue from yesterday as both the Angels and Phills walked off at home, both winning 5-4 in their respective matches. Which leaves me to muse on these following points:

1. No way in lowest strata of heaven did the Angels deserve to win that game. Shades of the 07 Tigers, learn to catch a ball. Learn to round a base. Yes, I know it's October and nerves are high, but let's not look like Blinky, Pinky, Inky and Clyde out there.

2. Lucky you have a good manager. Yup, say what you will about Mike Scioscia, but he knows how to run a game. I know he still catches flack after pulling that ill fated suicide squeeze against the Red Sox last year in the DS, but I don't care. That was a guts baseball move on the big stage. Yesterday he inserts some back up catcher, Jeff Mathis, who manages to go 2 for 2 and knock in the game winning and series saving run. Pretty good. Now we have a series.

3. And I thought Joe was the LA skipper. Well, I guess it wasn't him on the hill in the bottom of the ninth that gave up a 2RBI double to Jimmy Rollins handing the Phills a 3-1 series lead. One would think that you could count on your closer to hold a slim lead in a must win game. Then again, Bizzarro playoffs strike again, maybe Joe should've been aware that Broxton was due to implode. And thus should've called up Eric Gagne from theQuébec Capitales to insure the save.

October Follies

First. I just heard this real life snippet from the big American commentators as they give big American commentary on the big American League Championship Series game that's being played right now.

Tim McCarver: "We're going to answer some viewer's e-mails that have been sent to us. This one comes in from Yellowknife, Canada where Ken says, 'So great to have you guys calling the game. Gets the fans right into it. Especially when it's snowing outside and I'm watching it on the big screen. Would you guys give a shout out to my friend Steve in Calgary who's broke his finger last week and is watching the game right now?'"

Joe Buck: "Just did."

Years of trying to break through to Simmons, ESPN, TSN, and random other feeds and this yokel who could been my neighbour in Sasky gets airtime from the massive network broadcasting to the masses? And on the most inane and mundane of requests? I have heard more compelling conjecture from Wong's Cafe in Canora, Sasky over #2 combos and coffee. I'm surprised Yellowknife Ken was able to fire off that message in whilst skinning an elk. What the fuck?

Next. That fucking rally monkey came on the Anaheim jumbotron and wouldn't you know it but Howie Kendrick proceeds to leg out a triple. Then of course Game 2 Goat, Maicer Izturis, launches a sac fly to score Howie and take the lead. Cue the thunderstix, rally idiots, and other Angels stadium antics.

More? Most likely. Oh look. Posada just tied it up again with the fourth Yank bomb of the day...I'm expecting 24 innings.

Week 6. Bizzarro Be Damned.

Like last night's ALCS was going to go anything other than:

1. Derek Jeter bashing a big Bronx bomb in October to put they Yanks up early 2-0.

2. The Angels refusing to die, making things interesting by clawing back insuring extras.

3. Mariano Rivera providing ungodly October relief, this time stretching out to a mind numbing, 2 1/3 shutout innings.

4. A-Rod striking out in the 12th with the bases loaded, ending the inning.

5. A-Rod hitting the game tying homer in the 11th.

6. A lucky Bronx bounce involving Maicer Izturis throwing the ball nowhere near second where he hoped for a force out.

7. Some relatively faceless pinstripe (pinch hitter, Jerry Hairston Jr., in this case) prancing home to win the game, putting the Yanks up 2-0 in the series.

8. AJ Burnett giving him the obligatory shaving cream pie in the face during the post game interview. (Hey! I thought that was a Sky Dome only prank!)

Can we just fast forward to The Series already? If Anaheim wins more than a game I'll convert to Catholicism.

LA LA Land

Ok, let's put these CS's on some Maniwaki microfilm and examine in greater detail.

1. LA/Philly. A series. A bona fide October baseball series. I love it. I just love it. Manny's handcuffed thus far, going 1 for 9 in both games. (I wonder if he's doing it on purpose just to provide some Gibson-esque Game 7 dramatics....)

Pedro went to the cellar and uncorked one of his finest sparkling October vintages yet. To bad it got soured by the Philly bullpen, who walked in Andre Ethier to eventually lose Game 2, 2-1. You've got Chase Utley helping to set the stage for this mess by firing an easy double play ball into the dugout, allowing said bases to become occupied.

You've got Canadian and Maniwaki favrourite, Russel Martin hitting a healthy .500 for the series, as well as some pinch hit heroics from Jim Thome. And you don't know what's going happen tomorrow. So far, I love this series.

2. LA/NY. What is not surprising. The Yanks were wearing their General's pinstripes last night as they were in total command of the Angels in Game 1 last night. Jeter, Matsui both hit blah, blah, blah...Mariano Rivera blah, blah, blah...ALCS back in the Big Apple blah, blah, blah...

We've heard this story a million times. Whatever.

However. What is totally flooring me is the play of A-Rod. Who has this guy become? Mr. Ten Octobers Later? All he's done is hit over the playoffs. And in the clutch. You've seen it every game. I've seen it every game. I have no answer for it except for the obvious Bizzarro baseball universe that these 09 playoffs reside in.

And what's got me even more stunned and stupefied is that he's actually playing with heart. Who ignores a stop sign at third last night to charge the plate and crash into the catcher to try and score. A-Rod? Sure he was out by a mile, but it was a damn gritty move. It was an October move. And it was executed by A-Rod. I'm speechless.

So, as predictable as these playoffs have been, they have been equally unpredictable at the same time. What next? The Yanks announce surprise starter for tonight, Alex Rodriguez? And he pitches a complete game shut out? At this point nothing would surprise me.

The Transition Of Transitions

Man I used to hate when I was sessioning the skate park park and some dorked out, armoured up mountain biker would drop into the bowl, flinging himself around like a moron.

"You have a whole fucking mountain", I'd think to myself as caked mud and grass came flying off the knobbies, littering the concrete. Then, I'd be at the Vancouver Art Gallery or some other street spot and some other armoured up full suspension warrior would be vaulting himself onto a ledge, hopping stationary like Thumper from Disney, eventually pivoting off said ledge only to scamper off to annoy skaters at another spot.

"I'll never be one of those guys", I vowed many times.

Fast forward to this summer. After being away from serious skating for a long time due to injury, and having purchased a full suspension bike to actually ride the mountain, I realized that the most fun I'd had riding said bike was on the streets. So I went down to the neighbourhood bike shop and picked myself up a brand spanking new Specialized P2 chromo hardtail, basically, a bmx for big kids. And starting sessioning the streets again.

And wow. What a blast. Finding a ton of unskateable banks and ledges, I read a page out of the bmx handbook and went to work. Sure my skills are rudimentary to beginner at best, but there will always be something great about sizing up a line, taking a run at it at full tilt, only to land maybe 1 out of 100. But than one you stick sure sticks with you and boots you out the door the next time.

While I still can't bring myself to bring the beast to the skatepark (and hopefully never will), I do have a new appreciation for these urban mountain bikers. Especially for this new cat out of Scotland who is probably of the same lineage as Rodney Mullen and that bald kid from The Golden Child. Prepare to have your cerebral cortex melt down into a pool of useless slop as you watch some of the most radioactive footy, from any discipline, that's ever been lensed through a view finder.

And if I ever write about an acceptance and new found joy in roller blading, you have absolute license to stone me. Ok, watch and weep.

A Spirited Sortie

As the car rolled towards Forward Operating Base Headhunter, the lads in the car piped up.

"Hey, look at that eagle!!"

"It's massive!"

And directly overhead, the mighty eagle escorted the car down the road, to the turn off to the set, before turning off itself. Its wingspan was easily that of the roof of the car. The look on its face was one of assured wisdom and unwavering confidence. Its presence was purely majestic. Powerful.

***

After entering the tent, I was met by my old Karate instructors, who had also recently been recruited into the ranks of celluloid solider. We caught up and both relayed that we both had not been able to train in quite some time due to injuries. Through out the day between various patrols and communications set ups, we conferred on many subjects pertaining to the martial arts.

From past sparring stories, to the state of the UFC and the skill of its fighters, to the lifelong lessons and merits of training in a traditional system. It was a good reminisce and regroup.

***

Sometimes you need a reminder as to where you come from.

My Kind Of Town

I'll say. With a young core of cats that do nothing but skate like demons and score goals like they're harvesting souls at the Enron boardroom. Are we witnessing the emergence of a new hockey power? I'm inclined to say yes.

Why? Because as time progresses, you know that Toews and Kane aren't going to getting worse.

Kind of makes you wish the Canucks utterly sucked for a few years, to seriously reload.

Woe Is Leaf

Being a Jays fan this year was tough enough, but Christ, at least I'm not a Leafs fan. 0 - 6, the T.O. hockey club hasn't recorded a point since it notched its sole OT point on opening night. And I thought the Canucks were shitting the rink. I remember a ton of shitty Leafs teams, but I don't think I remember one as absolutely hopeless as this one.

I mean, I remember The Dad carting the Skip and I around Leafland as kids, listening on the local broadcasters bemoan their hometown team. I remember checking the back of Börje Salming and Rick Vaive hockey cards to see that there was no Cup in their immediate pasts. Or futures for that matter. Or anyone's future.

And what how can old Burke be dealing with this? Probably dipping into the Jameson's a bit more these days. Seems like the T(oronto) Sports Network and other outlets have given him a free pass for now. But how long can this last? For the rest of October? Because as it stands they could go winless given the rest of the sked for the month as they have to play the Rangers at home and then head out to play Us, Anaheim, Dallas, Buffalo and Montreal.

Quite honestly, the only shot at winning a game they have is on November 10th against the Wild at the ACC. By that time there will be a new World Series Champ, hoops will be in full swing and it'll be Week 9 in the NFL. I'm fully expecting this to happen.

Rocked. Over

Is it possible for a game in October not to end without a late inning collapse?

Holy fuck, just when I thought the quota for Div Series disintegrations had been met and surpassed, the Rockies of all teams threw their New Eras onto the pile as they plummetted onto icy, icy Coors Field. Down 2-1 in an elimination game, the eighth saw a quick hometown turnaround as Yorvit Torrealba (who got plenty of Maniwaki press in 07) doubled in the go ahead run and an insurance run. Rocks 4. Phills 2. Cue the 2007 feel good Rockies, as the entire crowd sang John Denver songs in unison. This backwards ass October was about to get set straight.

Or so we thought.

As Bizzarro ball struck yet again. The victim this time being Colorado closer, Huston Street, who absolutely shit granite on the mound giving up a double to Ryan Howard to tie the game. One strike away from sealing the deal and heading back to Philly for Game 5. Urp?

And then Philly middle reliever Scott Eyre did his best Brad Lidge imitation and made things interesting in the bottom of the ninth giving up singles to Gonzalez and Helton. I was convinced we were going back to 07. Positive. Especially when Brad Lidge (actual) came out to face Tulo. There's no way scrappy young Tulo would be the last out in this soon to be feel good holiday movie. There's no way Tulo, Mighty Tulo would let the grandest and most spectacular save detonator this side of Miguel Batista end the Rockies season. He'd find a way to make it to base. If anyone could do it, Tulo would do it. You could bet your granola on it.

No way Tulo would go down on strikes to end the game and the series leaving Todd Helton to sit on second and scratch his beard wondering where everything went wrong...

...?

Week 5. Mani Thanks

Huh? Jonathon Papelbon becomes Brad Lidge and vice versa? Resulting in Boston getting bounced by Anaheim and Philly actually nailing down a game in the ninth? It seems that the Bizzarro October continues...

But talk about a great Thankgiving. To recap:

1. A pot of fresh brewed scappie that was as endless as if it came from IHOP. Or Heaven.

2. Three ball games. Two tight ones. One unbelievable Papel-meltdown resulting in the unbelievably compelling October viewing that I've been waiting weeks for.

3. All the drama unfolding whilst I helped the Spouse prepare another one of her epic all star Thanksgiving din dins.

4. A Pacific Northwest victory. (Not like I watched more than 30 seconds of it. But whatever, the neighbours are happy.)

5. Another win by the Canucks(?)

6. A great Thanksgiving squad around a great Thanksgiving dins. And talk about another Hall Of Fame outing. Delectable. I don't know how the Spouse does it.

7. One happy goddam puppy.

8. Gladiator on the tube and a fresh bottle of Tollo.

Yup. Thankful.

Random Saturday Oct-ticker

...brrrr...she's a cold one out...Let's lace up...

....Hockey's coming back to Quebec City!! About time as Bettman must've finally had to take back six flats of empties as well as scavenge couch change to keep the Coyotes afloat for the next year. About time the Nation got another squad back. Let's hope it's just the beginning...

...Hockey's coming to Denver!! Again!!! As Coors Field was covered with a sheet of ice delaying the inevitable Phillies romp of the Rockies in Game 3 of the NLDS. Never mind emptying the clip by holding the Winter Classic at all the classic stadiums year after year. Namely, Wrigley then Fenway. My vote is to have the Canucks play the Avs at Coors Field in January...

...Hockey resides Stanley Park!!! As the VANOC Oly Hockey head honcho saddled up to the bar, took in the Oil/Canadians game and debated the mental grit of Carey Price with yours truly...Sometimes I just love this town...

...Hockey's not on the radar in LA!! As some guy named Drew Doughty (heavy on the Maniwaki scouting report) took a puck to the face, and some other guy with wacky dreadlocks twisted up his usual October concoction of three parts base hit to two parts RBI finished with an NLDS sweep...Whilst some girl named Alyssa jumped up and down in a form fitting
Dodgers shirt....As some guy in Vancouver that writes a blog officially approves the scenario for baseball...

...speaking of which. HQ is going to be rigged out of the remainder of the holiday weekend to accommodate the four ball games going on tomorrow, the Canucks game as well as the three additional playoff games on Monday. The joint is going to make Ozymandias' mulit screened Antarctic retreat in Watchmen seem like a rumpus room...

...Finally...October...

The Hunt For An October

Ok, so the Angels are up 2-0 and so are the Yanks.

And I haven't seen more than two goddam innings of playoff ball during the whole week and a half. Bah! No good for baseball.

From what I can piece together, the skies are falling and Hell as hit absolute zero as California is on the verge of bouncing Boston and the Yanks are getting clutch hitting out of A-Rod. (?!).

Perplexing this October is thus far. Topsy turvy if you will. Black is white, up is down and everything is permissible ala Crowley. A strange alchemy is afoot and it would not surprise me to see a ghostly Series in which the specters of Jackie Robinson and the Babe walk in and join everyone on the field.

Set Stand Up

Rarely do the realms I follow and interact in collide, but today was one of those days where the stars aligned in a rare Maniwaki constellation, as Rampage Jackson walked onto the A Team set today.

And wow. I, as well as the many other millitary grunts, have definitely found a new admiration for the Ultimate Fighter as he had us all in stitches all day. And not from a vicious ground and pound.

Without giving anything away about the flick (and risking a lawsuit) all I have to report is that there is nothing more refreshing than seeing a guy work on his first film, playing a character that he absolutely dug as kid, utterly eating up every minute of his time on the set. In full Baraca-hawk. Cracking wise with the extras and everyone else in between takes, I half expected him to ditch his trailer and pull up a chair in the extras tent to continue the jibba jabba. Believe it sucka.

The Real First Day Of October. The Recap.

So apparently the Forward Operating Base doesn't get ESPN, so for the first time in a loooooong time I missed the multi epic marathon that is Day 1 of the playoffs. Let's give a quick recap/briefing as I'm due back at 06:00 hours.

1. Philly Rocks Rockies. The defending champs with Cliff Lee on the mound, pitching in the NLDS. Please...Next.

2. Yankee Spankee. Surprising. Really. Yes I know Minny just had won the Central something like an hour before game time (I still can't believe I fucking missed it!!!) and had to jet out to the Apple to play Game 1. BUT. I was really expecting the Metrodome magic to follow them, resulting in an massive upset in the Bronx. Apparently even A-Rod hit in the post season and got a couple of ribs to boot. I blame Kate Hudson.

3. Dodgers 5. Cards 2. Thus far. Yeah, it's in the seventh and as great as Pujols/ Carpenter/La Russa vs Manny/Randy Wolf(?)/Torre is, I've got to stick to my preseason prediction and go with the Dodger Blue to take the whole thing. (Man, I can't believe I've missed so much insane October horsehide in the last two days.)

4. What? Looks like some of the lads around here had something to say. Perhaps I should've made another wager with the Skip.

AWACS Confirms Jack Morris Sighting

Missed the big game as I was in a massive operation in an Iraqis forward area, whilst Hannibal strolled the grounds, puffing on Montre Cristos, formulating grandiose millitary plans. Managed to tune in via mobile to see that Detroit was up by three in the fourth. Not good.

Then later, saw that the match had gone to extras. Five a crack in the tenth. Much better.

Finally got home and saw the highlights of probably one of the most lunatic one game playoffs ever played in The Big Leagues. Unreal.

I can't believe I missed it. What is this? 1991?

So Woefully Predictable

"And if you're just joining us it's on the strength of three goals on three shots this period."

Well let me tell you something, Mr. John Shorthouse, Sportsnet Pacific colour commentator, I am just joining you and no, I am not surprised in the slightest at the 4-1 Blue Jackets lead that I'm looking at right now. Oh look, Ehrhoff just made it 4-2.

Whatever.

At least Team Maniwaki will get two points as Mason is outduelling Bobby 12 Years.

Week 4. The Panic Button.

Yup. I'm pushing that motherfucker right now. Why?

1. Because the Canucks are 0-2 and I'm ahead of the curve. Sure. Ok. I admit it. I was sipping the preseason Kool aid. But no more of that nonsense. After the absolutely pathetic game in Denver yesterday, I'm officially sounding the lower mainland alarm.

Say what you want. I don't care. In a week's time, the TSN's and Sportsnets and radio stations and Twitters, and facebook status's are going to be juiced up with only topic. Namely, "What's wrong with the Canucks?" As they'll be 1- 3 going into a game against Dallas. In which they'll surely SYG (Shit Your Garage) prompting a spiral effect for the next few weeks.

Why? Because everyone's sitting around with their nice fat contracts, feeling damn smug about themselves, prancing around Yaletown reading their own pre season press. And, in sharp contrast to the early days of last season, there is an actual expectation to perform. (Which of course, as it's the Canucks after all, translates into skating around the ice wearing Orca "Depends".) What was I thinking? I know better. We all know better.

Let's get back to reality here. Did you see the Pittsburgh game last night? Or even more stupifying, the Washington game? You're going to tell me that say if for some incredible, uncanny reason (probably involving a pinch of gryphon's down from Hogwart's) that we actually fluke into The Cup Final, we can actually take down the Pens or Caps?

Forget it man. Their ju-ju is still waaaayyy more powerful than our poor, pitiful, Pacific Northwest parlour tricks. So quit smoking that homegrown stuff. Or then again. Maybe just twist up another, as you're definitely going to need it to get through October.

2. Speaking of which. I was honestly set to take a serious step back from October this year, as the current playoff match ups have got me about as interested in a purchasing a digital subscription to "Cosmo Television." Phillies, Cards, Dodgers, Rockies, Yanks, Red Sox, Angels, and whaaaaaaat's this? A surefire one game playoff which could result in an epic Tigers collapse?

To the Baseball Gods: I'm sorry I actually contemplated easing off from the playoffs this year. However this season has been beyond dreadful and really there was little to keep me locked into October. However, if the happenings of the last few days are any indication as to a momentum shift in the Grand Old Game, I will of course do my part and witness this '09 offering in however the bunting chooses to unfurl itself.

Now. Let's do the obligatory Sunday snap and try once again to enjoy the NFL. Let's see. I've had the Seattle/Peyton game on for the last hour in the background (partly on mute. partly not.) as I've been Sundaying it up, typing this post and yakking on the phone with my fam. The results?

A 21 - 3 tally for the Peytons when I last tuned in, in what turned out to be a 34 -17 doubling. Holy smokes, the Great Blight Of The Pacific Northwest continues...

Dice has got tickets to the Suns/Trailblazers preseason tilt here in town on the 22nd. I'm almost afraid to attend.

The TSN Turning Point. Finally.

Just in from over the Maniwaki wire as Dice C just informed me:

"JP. Hasta la vista."

I don't even know what to say. I feel as if I've been lying wounded on a battlefield for days and a medic just showed up with a fresh pack of gauze and a big shot of morphine. Or if I feel as if I was clinging to some capsized raft in the middle of the Pacific and the search helicopter just buzzed in, hovering overhead.

Or it's like I've been holed up in an huge underground metropolitan network of tunnels, carefully making my way from food court to food court, avoiding the cannibalistic zombies that aimlessly terrorize the passageways. Finally, an armed hummer has plowed through the carnage and undead and a squad of marines has jumped out and handed me a sidearm and a pack of millitary rations.

Nonetheless. The bleeding has finally stopped.

Thank fuck.

Just Another Day In The 09 Season

Today's latest drama. It's to the point where this shit starts to get laughable, as every day some other dark cloud plants itself over the Skydome. I almost wonder what would happen if the season lasted an extra week. I'd fully expect the news to come out that Doc has been juicing his entire career and that the club to is to be relocated to Vegas for 2010.

Third Period Bookends

Well things were looking up. Less than a minute into the third and we were the ones on fire against the Flames as Burrows poked one passed Kipper. And although we were still down 4-3, it looked like we were surely going to walk out of Cowtown with 2 points as the lads threw everything at the net. It was so dominating it was bordering on obscene.

I think Iggy got the only shot off in the first half of the third. Then a power play. Then more squandered chances. Then the first Canucks cursing of the season.

Less than a minute left in the third, and Phaneuf blasted one into the empty net. 5-3 Final. More cursing.

Oct 1. Opening night. I really hope my stomach lining can make it through the winter, up to February, through the Olympics and then hopefully on to June.

I hope this third period was not a representation of yet another spirited Canucks season that ultimately comes up short.

Go Canucks. [cracks case of Pepto]

The 09/10 Team Maniwaki Roster

My official roster as presented to the commish:

Thornton
Savard
Spezza
Shea Weber
Steve Mason
Gaborik
Hemsky
Bryan Little
Tom Gilbert
Pascal Leclaire
LOOOOCH!
Tavares
Jason Arnott
David Perron
Jason Blake
Patty O'Sullivan
brent burns
Kyle Mother fuckin' Wellwood.

Yup.