A Solid Sweater

Now here's a squad that gets there alternate uni shit right. The 3rd Wild jersey will apparently hit the ice Oct 21 at Excel when the Wild take on the Avs.

What would've been even better is if they would've waited until the Canucks showed up, as to show the distinct contrast as to what one does and what one abso-fucking-lutely does not do when designing a new sweater. Good show, Minny front office. Maniwaki style points awarded.

Now if this doesn't make l'il Scotty want to go out for hockey this season, I don't know what will.

Giants Walk Among Us

Boston 7. T.O. 0. Sweep complete. Doc rocked. 32 games to go.

Ok, this we know. But right now the most interesting story in ball is the Rockies/Giants tilt for the NL Wild Card. After sweeping the miracle Rockies over the weekend the Giants now sit tied with them for the WC. Even Barry Zito came up with aclutch performance. I must say that while I am no Giants fan, (and even still harbour some ill will towards the org) the prospect of Linny possibly pitching to Manny in the NLCS would be quite the conciliation for this very, very, lame 09 season.

The Heart Of The Octagon

Red Sox 3. Jays 2.

So The Natural lost to Minotaro tonight at UFC 10. And wow. The highlights I saw were just unreal. If there is a real life Rocky Balboa, Randy Couture is definitely that guy. Losing by decision, Couture lasted through a near python-esque choke hold and a relentless ground and pound from Nogueira. At 46, The Natural, definitely demonstrated the Stallion's credo of "it's not how hard you hit, but how hard you get hit."

Maniwaki judges give him the decision just on pure heart alone.

Dodgers Win October

Ok, hung over. Ball game on. Dodgers/Reds. I've been saying all year that the Dodgers are going to win the World Series. Here's some random snippets as to why.

1. Manny just made a snow cone catch in right field. Manny.

2. Alyssa Milano just married some shady looking agent guy that looks like he should be trying to screw Ari Gold over some script. This angers me and probably every other guy my age or close to it. Samantha's off the market. Fuck.

3. Joe Torre. Managing in Yankee Stadium. In October. Forget it.

4. Matt Kemp and Ander Ethier.

Two Men Enter...

18 000 more pack the place. Looks like the UFC is finally coming to Van. And about time. I'll definitely be going, even if the top card is "The Ultimate Fighter" Season 1 cry baby, Chris Leben vs an aging CoCo Beware. Ok let's hear it from the boss himself.

Maniwaki Mobile - Live From The Sitcom Savagelands

Much brutality everywhere I turn. (more on this in another forum on
another day...) At least the City is going to meet with the UFC
bosses tomorrow to hopefully hammer out a deal to sanction the sport
in Van. Christ if they allow these savage sitcoms to film, they should
at least allow a UFC card every six months.

The Abyss Gazes Also

Rays 7. Jays 3.

Now lets see what other nonsense is afoot.

1. Jerry Reinsdorf wants out of the Coyotes deal. Bettman wants to convince us all that the league buying the club to keep it in Phoenix (where no one really knows who Wayne is, never mind Shane Doan) is better than Balsillie buying it and moving it to a town where it will do nothing but spew smoke stacks of money everywhere.

2. An Olympic Goal Tending Contro. All I say is this: Would I start Bob in the Gold Medal Game should we get there? After allowing 7 goals in an elimination game and then aksking for 7 mill/year extension after that, no way in lowest most lower mainland pit of Hades. Give that Mason kid a chance. He's from Oaktown to boot.

3. Greinke K's 15. Fuck me.

Wake Me Up When September Starts

Ok, Doc on the hill and 7 runs round the bases, yet still no W. Talk about finding new ways to lose.

Man, time to start playing for next year. September can't get here soon enough. I'm wanting to see who gets called up. Hopefully there's another Randy Ruiz in the bunch. Maybe some young gun who throws nothing but straight smoke. Christ even a batboy that has Jesse Litsch potential.

So This Is What Its Come To

Yay. We win.

Saison De Le Sadisme

Look, I'm not going to lie, these posts are getting tough to do at this stage o' the 09 season.

Why? Because right now, following the Jays daily can really turn one into a masochist. Bring out the big blue flagellant, and let's beat ourselves as we recap and revel in today's latest way to lose.

Looks like a Vladdy had a pretty good game.

Wouldn't it be nice if he were playing in Labatt Park, leading Les Expos to a div pennant?

(Ok, enough already. Please take the fish hooks out of my limbs.)

Football Season Has Started

Yup, looks like the NFL preseason has kicked off as NY bested Boston 20 -11. Eli Manning passed for .....

...what?

...what's that you say?

...he didn't play you say?

...well who did?

...really?

Wow.

Maniwaki Mobile - Live From Caprica City

Have reviewed the schematics of the first gen Cylons. Testing begins
tomorrow at the Greystone lab. A positive result will take us one step
closer to insertion into the Jays line up next cycle.

Some Waning Season Distractions

Doc pulled in the fifth. 5 -1 Red Sox. What else is new?

1. Brett Fucking Favre. I don't even follow the NFL and this is pissing me off. I hope he gets sacked week 1, gets his bell rung, throws into the opposing end zone and that's finally that.

2. That Sneaky Smoltz. Now here's a guy that knows what's what. When he retires, it'll be for real. This guy just wants to win and doesn't give a fuck what anyone thinks about it. Good for him. I hope he gets that ring this year. Right after striking out the heart of the Yanks order.

2. Pasty's Indicted. On misdemeanors. What next? Sweeping floors at the grocery store after getting pinched for pocketing packs of Upper Decks?

3. 09/10 Canucks. Fucking please.

Mauled In The Jungle

Well it looks like the joke's on me. Strasburg does indeed end up signing in the eleventh hour and we fail to ink three of our top four picks.

This season has rapidly turned into one of the worst. Ever. To think that we were actually leading the div for two months makes me want to impale myself on the CN Tower. We let Rolen go for an empty bag of popcorn, we send Rios away not getting even a kernel in return, we pay BJ Ryan millions of dollars to sit at home and play X-box, and we dangle Roy like a peppered steak in front of the wolves for two weeks and then put him back in the fridge bruised.

At least the collapse of '87 only took about 10 days. Painful yes. But quick. This season has been an incredibly slow death, and I fear that since there is still games on the sked, more misery is yet to come.

Will Rogers announce a sale of the squad to Jeffery Loria next?

At this point nothing would surprise me.

Monday Ticker

...and where's that tabby cat when you need him?

...So Patty Kane apologizes for working over a cabby over a 20 cent dispute. Team USA GM, Brian Burke, immediately jumped to Kane's defence saying that he himself did things when he was 21 that he wouldn't want to publicly address. Whatever. We all know that this is the kind of fire and grit that Burke absolutely loves, so don't be surprised if Kane is hired by MLSE to start shaking down some of the overpaid, underachieving Leafs...

...come to think about it, maybe he should start by introducing himself to Vernon Wells...

... HA. HA. HA. Looks like Steven Strasburg is doing his part for the Maniwaki curse by making things extremely difficult for the Nationals. Well ok, it's really Scott Boras' absolute fucking greed, but I still can't help but laugh at a team that sits last in the Bigs, plays to an brand new, empty $600 mill stadium, has a front office full of swindlers, and an owner that won't fork out for the top prospect. For the second year in a row. Apparently Strasburg is being hailed as a "once in a generation" type of player. If the Nats let this next Roy Hobbes slip away, I will formally petition the Jays to put Edwin Encarnacion batting clean up for the rest of the year...

...oh look. We signed our third rounder. I wonder if JP will offer him 10 mill to start? If I'm Boras, I'm hoping the Jays sink to dead last and get the Strasburg pick, as JP would definitely be the first to sign a 30 year, billion dollar contract...

...Michael Vick. Donovan McNabb. Wow. If I'm a Philly fan, I'm definitely excited about Chris Pronger joining the Flyers and the possibility of a Phillies Series repeat. And that's it...

Van City Sarsparilla

Ok, since I got back from Montreal, I've made a solid commitment to taking my leisure time very seriously. After purchasing a very plush pair of brown sandals from American Eagle on St. Catherines, I have followed up on the west coast by donning my monogramed bathrobe and paying homage to The Dude from The Big Lebowski.

Yup. The rest of August is my bowling lane, so get the vodka, Kahlua and 2% ready, I'm wandering the streets looking for that perfect rug. One that will definitely tie the room together.

Today's agenda entailed catching the first few innings of the game, leaving for brunch and returning to find yet another predictable loss. So shall the rest of the season go.

Anyways, later on ended up at Dice C's in which he showed me the demo for this absolute gem of a game. All I know is that if I owned a video game system I would probably never see light again and most likely devolve or morph into that pasty white fluke creature from the X-files.

About time they gave the Bat his due. Wow.

Maniwaki Mobile - Live Not From The Trop

Yup. Another loss. Is it hockey season yet?

Positives Where You Can Get Them

1. Doc finally got one against the Rays.

2. Alex Rios is no longer with us.

3. Vernon Wells singled to tie Shaker Moe for third on the all time Jays hit parade.

4. I am not thinking about the 23 mill he'll be making next year.

5. This Randy Ruiz character seems to be doing what Rios and Wells were supposed to be doing.

6. I am anticipating a Snider September call up.

7. Maybe we can shit the rest of the season so hard that we fumble our way into drafting and signing Steven Strasburg next year.

Praying For Rain

Ok. An off day for the lads. And you know it's a really bad season when I'm actually thankful, so that they'll be spared another loss. In times like these I'm pretty much a Sasky farmer looking to the skies. Hoping for rain.

Not much left to do but ride the rest of this season out. Usually I'd be analyzing the numbers, trying to determine the near impossible winning percentage needed to stage an improbable comeback. Every year hoping for an Oakland-esque run or a Rocky Mountain high type 20 game winning streak. Or late season realignment to the Central.

But this season, I'm going to be more pragmatic and officially concede the End.

All we can do is hope to finish .500.

Again.

Beaning In Beantown

Now we're talking. Forget steroids, the sinking Skydome and a first place Yanks squad. Let's cue up some Dropkick Murphys and kick back and take in this Beantown bench clearer after Youk got plunked. Extra points for directly charging the mound (no delayed pondering/stare), reaching the hill, and the ensuing tackle.

Another Bell

Hey, look at us winning again in Yankeeland!

Looks like Richmond has put had a pretty good outing thus far, as it's 4-3 in fifth. About this, I'm not complaining.

What I will chime in on, to join the ever growing cacophony, is the Rios/waiver wire fiasco. Yes, we got his heavily back loaded contract off the books. But that's it.

Unacceptable.

This was a player who once was going to be legitimately dealt for Tim Lincecum. Now he's going to be platooning in the Chicago outfield. Whilst Jays fans listen to more of Ricciardi's ever changing stream of bull shit. One second we're contending, the next we're in a bridge year, the next we're selling the farm.

If this clown makes it to the winter meetings, where he will be sure to trip over his size 37 shoes, whilst throwing pies at the media, I will bury my head in the sand at English Bay for 2010. This car crash is worse than that John/Kate woman and her haircut.

Oh look. Vernon Wells is 0-2, had the chance to knock in the go ahead run back in the third but grounded out.

An Edwin Encarnacion (acquired in the Rolen deal) is up with his whopping .187 average. I'm sure he'll get us to October.

Nothing In Return

Ok, back from L'est. Stepped off the plane. Picked up the dog. Ordered a pizza. Watched some Entourage. Cracked open the laptop and read this.

Wow.

Ok we got his contract off the books. Fine. But considering a Rios for Lincecum swap was just about a reality a few years ago, this makes Ricciardi's GM skills look totally fantasy.

Alls Well That Eats Well

A post wedding BBQ, complete with perogies, shishliki, and Italian sausage. A perfect remedy to nurse my last few brain cells back to health.

Oh look. Roy won.

My cousin, Livvy and her hubby Burger, are off to NY tomorrow to watch the Jays at the new Yankee Stadium. Wow. What a blast that would be. I'd definitely be lying if I said I didn't want to tag along for that one. Rzepczynski vs Mitre (?) Could be a bomb fest in the Bronx.

The Big Day

On this joyous day, the Maniwaki Mauler is proud to announce the union of two of the finest souls ever to sail the high seas.

Congratulations to The Skip and First Mate!

May your voyage be a spirited, adventurous one, full of life and lots of love.

AHOY!

The Late Innings

So I've been warming up in the bullpen and The Skip just got off the horn. Looks like I'm getting the ball. Let's go to work.

Back In The Game

Big news out of Arizona. Looks like the Balsillie bid is back on. Coincidence that the story breaks as Vlad The Dad, The Dangler and his girl Steph, roll into town? I think not.

Back To The Mat

Back in '07, sparked by the Michael Vick scandal, my then puppy Arthur, decided to start a heavy training regimen in an attempt to infiltrate and expose the elaborate dogfighting ring. Since then he has developed a passion for MMA and continues to compete to this day. Here's some recent footage of his latest tilt with Dice C's up and coming contender, Boomer. Looks like Arthur needs to work on his ground game a little more.

One Word MLB Sentences

Doc. Lose. Fuck.

Yankees. First. Fuck.

Steroids. List. Fuck.

Jays. Royals. Nationals. May. Worst. Since. Fuck.

LA. Dodgers. Best. Good.

LA. Angles. Best. Fuck.

LA. World. Series?

Rally. Monkey. Fuck.

Not What I Wanted To Read...

An early obituary on the TSN front page.

BUT.

I don't care. No matter how destitute the situation looks. No matter how impossible a 12 game climb is in the toughest div in pro sports is. I still can not and will not throw the towel in. It's only the beginning of August and miracles are upon us.

Yup.

Skip Stag Open Recap

We have successfully returned from the first and only Skip Stag Open, held in Les Laurantides. Brain systems are operating on "essential functions only" as you can imagine. Blinking. Breathing.

Some highlights.

1. Riding lawnmowers to prepare the grounds.

2. Single malts. Multiple tastings.

3. A spirited round on a mountain course.

4. New York strips. From St. Laurent. Prepared by a Hungarian butcher. Who has been preparing meat for over 40 years. Seasoned and grilled to perfection by the Skip.

5. Holding court on a mighty Laurentian rock over looking a valley as the sun set.

6. Driving golf balls into said valley as the eye of Sauran gazed down upon us.

7. Bluegrass sessions with an ensemble of players and instruments. Guitars, banjo, mandolin. That's right I said it. A mandolin.

8. Ridiculously good post game poutine.

9. A ridiculously good time.

Le Lac. Le Golf. Les Lads.

YUP.