A Worthy Opponent

"Finally, someone with the courage to bring the fight to me."

- Will Patton as General Bethlehem in "The Postman."

And about time.

Walking home through the still snowy city I happened to spy, through the window of a local tavern, the score in the World Junior Team Canada/USA tilt. And what was this? The Yanks were up 3-0??!!!

Could this be?

Finally an actual, compelling reason to tune in? Granted, I am not the biggest fan of the tourney, especially after five straight gold medals. Not to mention Team Canada's increasingly growing resemblance to the National Olympic Women's Hockey squad.

The same Women's team that couldn't take their foot off the gas in Turin, sometimes outscoring opponents 16-0. It seems that this year's lads must have Haley Wickenheiser on the bench as they cruised through three games, trying their best to emulate her and her line mates by trouncing Kazakhstan 15-0.

Tell you what kids. That's not good for the game. I'm sure even Grapes will tell you as much.

By the time I walked through the door and into HQ and turned on the tube, Tavares had already tied it up. Wow. Three goals in three blocks. That is impressive. Don't get me wrong. I am amped up about our lads, especially Hodgson since he'll be playing for the Canucks one day.

But let's see a game. Not a blowout.

And what's this...? Looks like we got one. In the time that I've been posting, the Yanks have scored once and the Canadian lads twice. Tokarski has just made an incredible save for Canada and the second period has just ended. 5-4 Canada.

Now this is a tilt. Let's hope the lads win this one.

But not by much...

The Year In Review - Best Of The Mauler 08

Ok kids... as we're in the closing days of yet another year (not to mention a damn near decade) it's time to pretend that it's your favourite sitcom and the entire cast is gathered round some place of gathering (like the Cheers bar, or the Huxtable kitchen table) to reminisce on some of their more memorable moments of the recent past.

Get ready, because here comes the wavy visual effects as we whisk you back to revisit some of this year's more stand out posts.

Let's begin with:

Some off season baseball transactions from last winer which brought the loveable ol' grubby ol' Scott Rolen to the Jays.

And then move on to some international distraction from the Canucks late season slide of 08. Which was as inevitable as it was gut wrenching.

But at least baseball was right around the corner. And we kicked off the regular season with the annual MLB Preview starting with a shout out to Les Expos. One courtesy of myself. One courtesy of the Skip.

And while the Gibbonsless Jays were still finding their early season swing and welcoming Cito back, at least they had discarded one of my biggest sources of abdominal agony. Only to throw it in my backyard.

When the M's went out east, a friend of mine had the pleasure of watching an true summertime Skydome walk off gem, in addition to running into some royally official fans.

As the Skip and I are the main contributers to this site, we encourage others to chime in if they feel the need. Which they do on occasion.

Seems the commish figured that steroids hadn't done enough damage to the game, so he figured the best way to fuck with baseball in 08 was to introduce video replay.

August brought the Beijing Olympics and while the Yanks were singing "Star Spangled Banner" every time Phelps exited the pool, things weren't so sunny up nord.

All displayed in stunning HD.

Since this was the final season ever to see the game of baseball played at Yankee Stadium, the Skip and I decided that it was time to take a swing through the North East. We ventured over the border to the Bronx as well to that ball park they have in Boston. That one with the big green wall in the outfield.

Not only was the trip good for baseball, as the Skip put it very aptly, "necessary."

Yup.

And the ride wasn't done for him, as the Baseball Gods had seen fit to grant him and the First Mate even more baseball blessings, facilitating some important events;

1. That their trip to Florida, booked months in advance, coincided with the;

2. The ALCS.

3. In a season in which Tampa Bay shocked the universe by not only achieving a winning season, by winning the whole damn Div. As well as the first round of the playoffs resulting in;

4. A very necessary trip to the Trop.

5. So how did the Skip and the First Mate cap off their magical season? To ensure that there would be many more to come. The Maniwaki Story Of The Year.

And onto the World Series. One which saw the Philly finally win another WS, while the Mauler successfully infiltrated the mainstream sports media.

Pretty soon after, hockey kicked into full gear. And surprise! The Canucks didn't suck. Even made some bold moves as well as finally heeding the advice long being broadcast out the western wing of Maniwaki HQ.

All, however, were not sold.

However, we'll see how it all shakes down in the spring.

For now I will leave you with the best post of the 08 Edition of this, The Maniwaki Mauler. One which draws some curious, culinary parallels in regards to the sporting spectacle.

Bon appétite and we'll see you next year as we suit up for 09.

The Wager

So chatting with the Skip today via coast to coast landline, as he and the First Mate were resting for a holiday spell in Oaktown, a pressing matter of the National Hockey League was tabled. One that turned out to be so contentious, it vaulted us into opposite ends of the ice, and demanded that we both don respective All Star East/West jerseys.

As I'm certain you are aware of the Skip's feelings on Mats Sundin's imminent arrival to Vancouver Town as I'm also certain you are aware of mine.

If you have been reading this site even on a semi regular basis over the past few months my endorsement of the Nordic one is not news.

So how best to resolve this difference of opinion? By anteing up on the Maniwaki Team jet and letting the chips fall where they may.

The criteria?

The Skip is convinced that the Canucks are doomed and can hope to finish at best third in the Div and seventh over all in the Conference by the time the curtain closes on the 08/09 season.

I say that the they will finish at worst second in the Div and with more points overall then the Centennial celebrating Habitants.

The stakes?

A brunch. But not just some McMuffins in a take out bag with some burnt coffee purchased from exit 57 on the I 95. We're talking the full Sunday spread at one of our respective city's finest hotels. Either the grand dining hall at the Queen Elizabeth Hotel in Ville de Montréal or the elegant brasserie of the Hotel Vancouver will provide the table settings for the celebratory smorg.

We will be alerting the media to the time of the ensuing press conference after a winner has been declared.

Stay tuned and see you in the spring...

The Lion's Share

When I was a lad playing ball in rural Saskatchewan there was one year that wasn't so hot. We sucked. It wasn't supposed to happen but yet it did. We did everything right as a team. We had a bunch of eager lads that tried their hardest. That cared about the game. We had a coach that didn't shy away from a questionable strike zone, or opposing manager, even screamed bloody, blue harvest across the diamond on a few occasions that season. We swung at every pitch and hustled out every play. We weren't the most talented but we had heart.

Christ, we even had a "Blue Jays" lettered across our navy, nylon t-shirt unis.

Everything was supposed to work out that year, yet, we lost almost every game that we played.

And I say almost because we tied the Natives from Keeseekoose Reservation who showed up for a game in the back of a grain truck, some awkwardly wearing right handed gloves on their left hand when they took the field. Sensing an easy win, our squad slacked off. And didn't blow the game open like our 11 year old sensibilities thought we would.

I remember being actually afraid on first base when I was covering a runner and his coach was kicking the barley, muttering , "If they don't know how to play the game, they shouldn't fucking play it at all."

We ended in a draw and both teams went home probably feeling pretty crappy that they lost to such a sorry squad.

And when we lost our last game of the season, I felt absolutely horrified, like I could puke up a season's worth of frustration. Of booted balls. Of minor league overthrows to any base. Of aluminum bats that whiffed and only added to the prairie breeze.

I felt sick.

And then, in my only "there's no crying in baseball" moment ever, I let'er rip.


***

....Detroit Lions. I didn't win a game that year, and still I didn't lose every game.

But I know how you feel.

KO'd

Whoa. Just about forgot to post. Rocked out with some holiday Rock Band at Dice C's.

Got there just as the main event had finished. Drat. Holy Rampage Jackson, highlights it has to be. How about twisting up another Caesar and let's see how Forrest did.

3.3 Left In The First...

...and Tavares has just scored for Canada against the Czechs. Speaking of which, after seeing his check swing goal against the Slovaks, what next? Goals scored via billiards style trick shots?

The NBA - Where A Lump Of Coal Happens...

For who?

1. The Celtics. Well, ok maybe only a few grains, as they're 19 game win streak came to an end today. In this rematch of last season's finals, Pau Gasol apparently put on his cowboy hat, loaded his cap gun and fired away in fourth to bulls eye 7 of his 20 points of the game. KG was no where to be seen and only appeared late in the fourth with gravy stains on his uni.

2. Steve Francis. HA! Take that Mr. I-don't-want-to-play-in-Vancouver and enjoy a stint with the powerhouse Memphis Grizzlies.

3. The Toronto Raptors. Poor Bosh and the boys...This season's performance is reminiscent of my junior high court career in rural Sasky. Let's just say that we were definitely not anything like Hickory High.

Maniwaki Mobile - The Stock Interview

Right now we're just trying to build on the positives. Get a lucky
bounce and build some momentum to get back in this thing...

Bah Humbug...

...ugly times this holiday season. Brother Carn trapped in various Western Canadian airports for days. A cancelled trip to the interior, thus n'ary a glide upon the fresh powder that sits on its many snowy peaks. And;

You're A Mean One, Mr. Shark. Cory Schneider giving up 5 goals to San Jose. Two of which, netted within a minute of the second. Wow. Even the Grinch couldn't have robbed a Whoville home faster.

Scrooge Goes Shopping. The Yanks, not content with breaking the bank on CC and AJ, are extending their holiday credit on Mark Teixeira, inking him for eight years. While uber agent, Scott Boras, now can sit back and collect even more while the remaining teams clamour over Manny's services for '09. Wall St. Steinbrenner. Boras. Who's next to enter the MLB X-mas landscape? Gordon Gecko?

If You Block It, They Will Come

Ok. I rarely watch football. Maybe the Superbowl. Maybe a playoff game or the Grey Cup if the Riders are in it. I don't even really have one NFL team, but more of a slate of good vs evil. Yet for some reason, I was drawn to the Bears/Packers match tonight. Some black and white stripe referee uni'd Football Diety, practically willed me to click on the pre game spiel to see if Brian Urlacher and his line could stifle Green Bay to live to see play off life.

So. I obliged. Turned on Monday Night Football right before the opening kick off. And kept half an eye on the game as many a Christmas visitor came and went through the doors of Maniwaki HQ for the ongoing festivities of the season.

So these squads kept me into it and the game turned out to be a pretty even. The Sans-Favres led for most, but the Sans-Refrigerators kept pace. And then eventually tied with an Any-Given-Sunday-fight-for-this-inch-speech, td late in the fourth. Pretty compelling stuff. It was time to lock in.

Just as the Packers then got a monster first down with enough room and time to boot a playoff dream ending field goal. This is with 24 seconds on the clock in the fourth. A perfect cue to jump off the couch and rip into a very MLB or NHL inspired tirade. I was screaming at Urlacher and Chicago D to live up to their big, bad, billing and do whatever it took to block this kick. Knowing of course, the odds of such a feat were about as good as me cracking the '09 Bears camp as a linebacker.

But wouldn't you know it, they did indeed block that shit. Which led to me screaming like a BC Kodiak to I don't know who. Everyone. No one. The Fridge. Carlos Zambrano. My friend Mike who's in Ontario for the holidays but the biggest Bears fan I know. Poor Dice C, who was sitting in the captain's chair and got both barrels and just about spilling his Caesar due to my abrupt antics.

But these Bears did it. Urlacher himself practically told me to watch and I said, "Sure." And was not disappointed. OT, was pretty much a write off as you knew Chicago would kick to win, and they did. And although I still have no official team in the NFL, I know who's got my vote for for this season's Super Bowl drive.

See you next Sunday...?

Avery rose has its thorn... except for mine

[Folks, 'tis truly a banner day. For the very first time on these pages, the First Mate chimes in with her thoughts on the spectacle. Behold.]

***

I thought it would be important to have the ‘First Mate’ cast a thought on the Sean Avery scandal. After all, buddy got kicked off a team for dissing on a Canadian girl, right? I like to think so.

I have to say Sean Avery was in my good books for a while. I can’t say I minded his antics THAT much. He’s good looking, a good dresser, confident, has a sexy bad boy image, and could rough ‘em up like the best of them – someone you want on your side. A guy’s guy. A woman’s weakness. He could get away with anything… well, almost.

On the other hand, you have Gary Bettman. Short, scrawny and mousy little fellow who goes with the crowd instead of taking a stance. The idiot you would picture on the playground, always standing behind the bully saying “Yeah!” so that he could feel “in” with someone. Not sexy. At all.

Except this time, when Avery served us up a slap in the face, the Cornell grad finally used his smarts leaving us no room for disregard or forgiveness. A cold shower telling us all to wake up and smell the coffee and remind us that nice guys don’t always have to finish last. Why do we always go for the bad boys? What’s the attraction? Why do we do this to ourselves and can we be happy without it?

I had to test it.

See, the Skip and I have been together for 8 years. Being an avid Habs fan (read: Religious belief), I took the chance of being cast out of my family for dating a Bruins fan (booooooooooo bruins!). I was a bad girl. Though, after years of relentless disappointment from his dearly beloved black and gold, he finally ceded and accepted the right and true nature of what we call hockey. Tricolore jusqu’au bout!!! The bad boy image was gone…. he is now one of us. Will I still love him? Did I love him more as a B-lover?

So after weeks of mustering up the courage for fear of not knowing my reaction to his answer… I finally had to ask. “Skip?” I said, “How are you feeling now that the Bruins are having the season of their existence, and you’re no longer a supporter?”

And his response, “I hope they lose”.

*Sigh* I’m going to marry that guy. And I couldn’t be happier!

♥,

the First Mate

A CAUTIONARY NOTE

To an extent, I can understand the excitement wafting throughout the Pacific Northwest. But perhaps a few words of common sense and reason are warranted here.

Let’s say you’re a general manager, and you’re in desperate need of on-ice leadership and scoring punch. An agent approaches you and says for the bargain-basement price of $10,000,000 (pro-rated for the remainder of the season), you can get a player who:

• is 37 years old
• has not won a playoff game since 2004
• has been amongst the top 20 point-getters in the league exactly twice since 2000 (2002 & 2004)
• has a grand total of ZERO Stanley Cup finals appearances
• has visited the conference finals only once (where he and his mates proceeded to get manhandled and lost the series four games to one)
• has a better chance of hoisting a bowl of Campbell’s Chunky Soup than the Clarence Campbell Bowl

Do you sign the contract?

Me neither.

- the Skip

The West Is Best

Ack. Bob. Mats. We need you to suit up soon. Because this Chicago squad is for real.

More Christmas Cheer...

Aaron Hill will be back next year for the Jays and is ready for action. After suffering a concussion on par with that of an NHL calibre hit from behind, Hill has finally recovered and is already in Dunedin working out for spring training.

While maybe not going as far as Jimmy Rollins, he did weigh in on the Jays' staff for next year sans AJ and McGowan.

"A.J. did a great job for us last season, but we have some young kids that had a chance to do some things and it's also looking pretty promising in the farm system. It's was a great opportunity for them and hopefully they will come up, prove themselves and help us next season."

This is the kind of grit and attitude that we need on our squad. I'm cutting out a letter "C" Sesame St. style and sending it to Hill Express Post.

Rocky Mountain High

Ask me how I feel about the Canucks.

Go on..

Ask.

...

....

..What's that?

...How do I feel about our hockey team?


Well I'm happy you asked because;

IS IT 1982 AND THE FLYING V'S ARE OUT IN FULL FORCE AND RICHARD BRODEUR IS BETWEEN THE PIPES? Because I haven't felt this good about the Canucks since their first epic run to The Cup.

How do you top off one of the classiest rafter raisers ever to be staged in the game of hockey? You announce finally the signing of an imposing, monstrous, huge Nordic fucking wolf. One who prowls the ice, protecting the puck or searching for something to hit...one who's hungry as hell for the Stanley Cup.

Yup. Christmas sure did come early to the lower mainland as:

MATS IS A FUCKING CANUCK!!!!!

And how did I hear the news? Couldn't have happened in more lower mainland way. And no, I wasn't sipping a nutmeg latte after coming back from yoga.

I was on the hill. First ride of the year. The lads and I hit up Grouse to try and get the legs back for what is hopefully going to be another stellar season. Took a peek from the peak at the grand vista that is Vancouver from the top of the Cut. Popped through the park. Hit up the odd hit and handrail. Took in the rest of the runs. Made from A to B without any significant problems or wipeouts. A good early season tune up. Good for riding. And apparently good for hockey.

We left all amped up for '09. Spirits were high. As we drove back into town, a few snippets zipped across the radio. "Sundin in Vancouver."

"Great. More speculation," we surmised. Until it was actually confirmed by Johnny Announcer just as we were rolling onto the Lions Gate Bridge, heading into Vancouver proper. I let a scream reminiscent of one of the Duke boys and had we not been on the bridge, I would've got out and painted an "01" on the side of the car for good measure.

Got home, checked the phone and bunch of texts magically appeared.

"We signed Sundin!" which very appropriately came from my compadre Justin, who had informed me of Luongo's signing back in '06, in which we both danced a jig.

and another one of note which came from Gagne and displayed only one word:

"Mats."

Yup. Mats indeed.

A True Titan.

Sundin Saga - Day 169

And still no word. Aside from the excruciatingly, painfully, obvious.

By Odin's beard, could you just flip a coin? Draw a card from the deck? Play rock paper scissors with Glen Sather and Mike Gillis?

BECAUSE YOU'RE HOLDING UP OUR TEAM'S ABILITY TO MAKE ANY FREAKIN' MOVES!!!!!!

Leading The Rush

[In which the Skip and I's linemate, Simone Gagne, laces up and leads the rush, digging up the puck from of toughest corners in today's NHL...]

dear diary,

boy was i wrong. when the dallas stars signed sean avery i thought to myself, "yes, this could work." and i'll tell you why. let's rewind to last season. before christmas, i picked none other than joe thornton and the san jose sharks to hoist Lord Stanley's Chalice above his head. moving along to the second round of the playoffs, san jose sharks vs. the dallas stars. dallas stomped over san jose because of a guy named Brendan Morrow. this guy played harder than anyone i've ever seen. the look on his face when he was on the ice was one that would make any of the best feel imasculine in the jock straps (and he's married to guy carboneau's daughter!). dallas ended up losing to detroit in the 3rd round, but even sid the kid couldn't stop them but that's a whole other story. fast forward to the summer. the stars sign free agent sean avery to a 4 year, $15 million contract. not bad for a guy who has never even scored 20 goals in a season, but he's not a terrible player when he doesn't have his head in his ass. so at this time i thought to myself, this is good. dallas didn't win last year but you better believe morrow, turco, and modano want it even more this year. and if there is a guy that isn't going to put up with any shit from some meatbrain that interns at Vogue magazine, it's brendan morrow. i thought that he was going to whip avery into shape and that dallas was going to be unstopable. skip scene to the first sentence of this paragraph. i sure didn't see this coming. morrow: season ending knee injury, turco: can't stop a beach ball, and last but not least sean avery: chirping none other than dion phaneuf about his sloppy seconds with elisha cuthbert. so i won't dwell on all the OC-esque drama that ensued, except for this one piece. avery will not be returning to the dallas stars this season and probably never for that matter ... but he is still getting paid! about $3.75 mil a year ... to go to anger management classes! this is not good for hockey, this isn't good for anybody.

moving on to another issue that has seen way too much airtime on all the networks for his own good. mats sundin. mats hasn't done a whole lot in the last few months, he probably played some golf with the rest of the leafs that haven't made the playoffs since before the lockout, and he probably scored some good chips doing ads for party poker. but now it looks like we're almost there. sundin is said to be making a decision sometime this week. let's look at the options.

1- Philadelphia Flyers - really? sure he'd play great with simon gagne and daniel briere but neither of these two can stay healthy for too long and can you see him popping g notes with likes of scott hartnell, jeff carter and mike richards? i can't ... and i won't

2- New York Rangers - i feel like i don't have to dignify this with an answer. they already have enough guys that are over their prime.

3- Le bleu, blanc, et rouge, Montreal Canadiens - yes. this team has chemistry that could win the cup if they do it right, they did pretty well last year but are just missing a couple pieces to the puzzle. what about this doesn't fit? they need a big guy that is strong on his skates, makes plays and can move his weight around. sundin is 6'5" and will fit right in on the power play feeding kovalev and tanguay. head coach, best dressed in the league, guy carboneau, has one before ... in montreal!

4- Vancouver Canucks - You're probably all thinking that sundin should sign in vancouver. i don't disagree with you, but let's play this out into two scenarios.

a) Sundin signs in Vancouver - great. we need more scoring. we have not more cap room, but we have sundin and luongo .. i'd say we're doing okay. $10 mil/year is a lot for a guy who hasn't played a playoff game since 2004. but, he can score and he's good at it. also, what better place for him to be, warming up on home ice to defend his olympic gold for 2010?

b) he doesn't sign. and what i'm about to say is going to sound a little far fetched but bear with me. with him not signing, vancouver will have pocket change of $10 mil next year that doesn't have name on it. probably more or less depending on sedin contracts and the likes. now here is where this gets good. over the past season we've all heard dirty nasty gossip rumours about marion gaborik coming to vancouver. he's definitely not playing any more where he is and communications between his camp and vancouver have happened in the past. he is also friends with pavol demitra who he wants to play with. these to slovaks also have another fellow slovakian friend who would strongly consider coming to vancouver to share stories of the homeland when his one year contract is up at the end of the season... marion hossa. all this, wtih luongo between the pipes ... this my friends, would be good for hockey.

OMG. LAME.

Oh my god, I've seen less drama on "The Hills." You know things have reached the point way passed ridiculous when even my Spouse comments on the sheer inanity of the Avery fiasco. Even she thinks the Stars are acting like a bunch of catty girls competing on America's Next Top Model. Very un-"fierce eyes."

The K-iss Of Death

K-Rod thinks he's going to outdo Jimmy Rollins, by pronouncing his new Metropolitan squad as the team to beat in '09?

His former Angelic team has practically been swept out of the first round in three out of their last four playoff appearances, while his new team will be getting their name in Webster's '09, under the definition of "collapse."

The '08 acquisition of Johan Santana was supposed to exorcise the demons of '07.

Met's GM, Omar Minaya, must be high on an old stash of Darryl Strawberry's if he thinks that the '08 signing of K-Rod will turn things around.

Imagine if they Mets would've gotten CC? They'd be done for the next ten years.

The New Bronx "Bombers"

So AJ signed for 5 years to the pin striped tune of 82.5 mill.

Now, I know you must be thinking that I'm probably screaming Blue Jay murder from here to Syracuse, but to the contrary fellow Maniwakians. In fact, I am actually the face of zen calm on the Skydome hill. Perhaps even a laughing Bhudda sitting on Blue Jay Way.

Here's why. Because while AJ is pitching next season out of the shiny new Yankee Stadium;

1. Roy isn't In the '08 season, in a contract year, AJ managed to stay off the DL for pretty much the first time in three years. Part of the reason he predicted he would pitch well is from watching Halladay. Pitching rather than hurling. While CC is no slouch by any means, not watching the best pitcher in baseball do his thing every five days will have an effect. Maybe not immediately, but eventually. Why?

2. The Pressure. Hey AJ. Tell you where you're not playing. South Florida. Where there's only ten guys in the stands. (Except every random year or so where the baseball gods decide to fuck with us all and send the Marlins to the playoffs and eventual World Series.) Unless you're a Zen master (and I don't think you are) you're going to have more than a ton of expectations on your shoulders. The entire island of Manhattan will be lifted up, like in the old, psychedelic, Spiderman cartoon, and you'll be walking around with that for the next five years. For starters.

Then you've got the other four burroughs, the state and the entire Yankee Nation. What does all this pressure translate into? Nerves. What do nerves translate into? Overthrowing. What does overthrowing eventuall mean? Some rabid tabloids in mid June losing their pastrami on ryes over the fact that Burnett is on an extended DL leave. I'm reserving my copy of the Daily Bugle now. Compounding this;

3. He won't be alone. Joba's already had rotator cuff problems at the ripe old age of 23, and I unfortunately it wouldn't surprise me if he become the Big Country Reeves of the Bronx. A big old Southern fella who's about to run into some injury troubles while "falling out" with the local fans. So where will this leave us?

4. With CC doing the same work horse routine that he did last year in Milwaukee, while the notoriously thin NY farm system calls up pitchers that Dustin Pedroia devours every few weeks.

God, I love off season baseball.

Northwest Nostalgia

"Great city, and we disappointed them, and we disappointed ourselves."

Yup. Sure did.

Holiday Ticker

Holy smokes, it's been a while since we've done a proper Maniwaki Ticker. Time start scrolling:


...CC Signs...for a Gotham sized 161 mill over 7 years...Lined up in the pinstriped cross hairs are both Derek Lowe and AJ...Perhaps the auto industry should be asking the Yanks for bailout money instead of Congress...

...An era is ending...Former Cub4Life, Kerry Wood, is in Cleveland right now to take his physical, setting the stage for him to pitch out of the Jake next year...What's wrong with this picture?....Try everything....

...K-Rod has signed for three years as the new Mets closer...Does anyone else see the irony from going from the Angels to the Mets?...He has just relegated himself a tier lower in Hell, going from a squad that perennially gets knocked out in the Division Series, to one that now has made it an annual affair to miss the Division Series blowing September considerable Div leads....

...Bosh Boshes back....after nearing the point of extinction, getting absolutely blown out in their last 5 games, the Raptors took one at the ACC...Bosh ordered up a Timmy's coffee, complete with a double double, as he recorded 25 points and 10 rebounds, topped off with a Boston Creme....new CanCon Coach, Jay Triano, sang Red Rider covers as he picked up his first win with the squad as they went 101-88 over the Pacers...

...The Official Word From Vanoc...The Mauler has successfully penetrated the intensely competitive lottery stage of Olympic ticket bidding, securing 2010 first round hockey tickets...Let's just hope the match features Team Canada vs a reformed Soviet Union and not Belarus vs Turjikistan...

...

Look Mats...

...who's it going to be? You've been waffling around worse than a Sunday morning IHOP hangover special and it's about time you tied into your breaky. Delores, your friendly server, ain't so friendly anymore as it's just about 5pm as you've been staring at your stack O'Hoppy's finest for the last six hours, trying to decide if the blueberry syrup or the traditional maple would go best with.

If you go with the blue, you're looking at an easy travel sched with a competent team. Which boasts a roster including Gomez, Redden, Drury, Nazzy, and Lundqvist. Not bad.

If you pick up the sirop d'érable, tapped from the finest BC maple, you'll have to spend a few more hours on the Orca Jet playing poker at the "A" table with the likes of Darcy Hordichuck. However, I'm sure you'll find a way to deal.

When you do hit the ice, it will be with Hank, Dan, Ohlund and Edler. Every game will be an Olympic tune up in the actual arena where you'll be defending your Gold Medal. I'm sure the GM Place ice maker will even let you put a Krona underneath centre ice.

And if that's not enough, you'll have the BEST GOALIE IN THE WORLD, between the irons.

All to the tune of 10 million a year (pro rated of course..)

So quit waffling, pick up the Canadian Maple syrup, finish your stack, ask for the cheque, and let's go win a Cup already.

You'll be happy. You'll make us happy. And even Delores will be happy.

Oh, enough already...

Winter Meeting Update

Could one of the Big 10 sign already?

Manny's being Manny in Vegas to the point of the Dodger's GM, Ned Colletti, publicly backing off from signing the slugger. Which of course prompted, Boras to request a meeting with the Dodgers. I hope Ned shows Boras and Manny the way to route 101 and out of LA.

AJ, as expected, has turned down arbitration with the Jays and is in the sights of the Red Sox, Yanks and Braves. At first, I didn't want him to go do a division rival, but since he'll inevitably wind up on the DL by May 24, the Yanks can throw more greenbacks at him than Congress is hurling at General Motors.

Why have I heard relatively nothing on Burrell aside from the fact that teams don't want to shell out because his defense is shaky? Isn't that a pre-requisite if your an elite slugger? Maybe he should grow dreads and then everyone will want him.

CC wants in L.A. Now we're talking. Hey Ned. Why not stick it Boras by signing a pitcher with one of the biggest hearts in the Bigs? Now that would be good for free agency.

I'm petitioning the Baseball Gods to do the right thing and somehow get Kerry Wood back into a Cubs uni for at least one more season. And while they're at it, give him a DL free season and a trip to the WS.

Hey...t'is the season after all.

Ouch.

A late Colorado goal to tie it up with a minute and a half left in regulation. And n'ary a goal stopped by Schneider in the shootout.

A Fairy Tale Of New York...

...as the bells ring from St. Patty's to Notre-Dame, across to St. Andrews on Main, and over the Rockies.

Good tidings are here!

As the Skip has popped the question to the First Mate!

A massively, Maniwaki sized congratulations to them both.

The Verdict

So six games and a visit to the shrink.

Ok, not bad. The commish was well on side, seeing as Avery's antics span his entire career. Which may see an abrupt end soon. Or at least a change in rink seating capacity as there are rumours he's going to be banished to the AHL to serve a pretty long bid.

As this caper has turned into an early Christmas present for today's hockey punditition, turning every sports (and even mainstream news) cast into The Octagon, let's take break in between rounds and size up all the participants.

1. The Commish. Apparently having warned Avery multiple times about his shenanigans, the final straw came when Kiefer's kid became Avery's latest victim.

Now I can see where Gary's coming from. It's bad enough that Avery publicly attacked not the player, but his girlfriend, but when said girlfriend happens to be a Hollywood actress (and a pretty hot one at that) what's a guy to do? If Bettman waited, or even worse, didn't do anything, how would that make a league that is desperate to gain legitimacy not only south of the border, but in the southern most of markets, appear? Gary had to act.

Christ, even Bud would slap Jeter himself with 10 games if the Yanks' short stop came out and dissed Mariah. And A-Rod? Probably a full season.

However, all this being said.

Let's remember that no matter how foul, or misguided or both that Avery is, the Commish did also say that Avery has never been in trouble for any dirty physical play, like a cheap hit from behind or to the head. Or both.

2. Brett Hull. If there's anyone out of this fooferah that I have a new respect for it's Dallas co-GM, Brett Hull. Why? For being the only guy in the world to stick by his man. While I am amongst the legions of NHL fans who think Sean Avery is a bona fide ass, I have to hand it to Brett for braving the storm and sticking to his story. He knew Avery was a loose cannon. He brought him to the lone star state anyways. And he's even accompanying him to the Marshall's office despite the fact that the whole town wants Avery hanged. Unlike the rest of the squad:

3. The Dallas Stars. Look, I understand the lads are frustrated, but if I have to see one more member of the organization throw Avery under the team bus over this debacle I'm going to shit my Under Armour.

Marty, we know you're sick of it, but shut up already. Mike, it's not like the rest of the dressing room is using the right spoon while having high tea with the Queen of England. You're hockey players for fuck's sakes. Players in a sport who's league tacitly sanctions bare knuckled fist fights in packed arenas on a nightly basis. I realize that mean old Sean said some mean old things. But you guys on the team (and even coach, Dave Tippett) have to really ask yourselves if a few nasty words are grounds for the consistent, public shunning of a teammate to the point where you won't even listen to his apology. I've seen divorces that have gone better than this. Ugly ones.

4. And the self proclaimed "A-Dog" himself. Mr. Avery. This is not the WWE. Hell, it's not even Stampede Wrestling. However the way you conduct yourself wouldn't even land a spot in either of these aforementioned leagues even as Leapin' Lanny's retarded cousin. Playing "the villain" is not helping to "sell the league." It's only helping to relegate it to a place somewhere after Springer and before steer wrestling in the US psyche. And this latest, shoddily rehearsed and executed diatribe against your former gal pal and her latest squeeze only reinforces the fact that your "marketing skills" would be best suited to hawking fourth rate pop up ad porn instead of the northern national passtime.

While I don't think your teammates should've publicly put you through the wash with the rest of the stinky shoulder pads, I can see how they might be a tad miffed. If only they would've taken you up on their offer to address them in the dressing room. And if only the rolls of hockey tape on the benches could speak.

The Deliberation

And so, we will wait until tomorrow. For now let's just take revel in this most spectacular of spectacles for as long as we are graced with it.

The specs might warrant an extra game.

The CTU Sniper's Roost

Ok, we've all heard the sloppy sound bite.

We've suspected the suspension.

We've heard the apology.

Tomorrow the official word comes down from Gary, The Grand Poobah.

Hence, tonight, we will pop in the "24" Season 1 disc and reserve comment until tomorrow when the dust has settled in Dallas.

Unless of course the whole things ends abruptly tonight with a midnight sortie involving Avery erroneously walking through the CTU cross hairs, as Kiefer squeezes the trigger.

At this point, you just don't know.

A Tip Of The Cap...

...as we pay tribute to Ted Rogers, who passed away last night in his home in Toronto. In the near decade he owned the Jays, he kept the team competitive in the toughest division in pro sports. While the winds of contraction and relocation were echoing throughout baseball, he not only kept the team afloat, but brought stability and confidence to the Canadian franchise.

He purchased and upgraded the Skydome, showing his commitment to Major League Ball in Toronto, and upped the overall pay roll in the 04 off season, allowing the likes of AJ Burnett and BJ Ryan to take to the T.O. hill.

Most importantly, and unlike other owners, he didn't turn the squad into a soap opera (like certain pinstriped ones to the south) by meddling in the operations of the team. He let his GM do his job and created a situation where the front office had the opportunity to field a competitive team.

Although the Jays didn't make the playoffs during his tenure, the average attendance rose during his tenure, and baseball in Toronto is returning to its Henke-est heydays of the mid '80's and early '90's.

So as a Blue Jays fan, and a Canadian baseball fan, I have to tip my cap to Ted.

Back To The Yucatan

That's right. I've booked passage back as the Canucks have not won a game since I've set foot back in the lower mainland. After going on an 8 win run (the last W, notched against Detroit, while my plane was somewhere over Oklahoma. A game which also saw the Captain carted off the ice with a groin pull) the lads have dropped 3 straight.

Nay.

Juice.

Tonight's loss was especially sharp as Vancouver allowed Columbus to rally back from 2-1 in yet another regulation loss.

Did I miss something?

Is Mark Crawford behind the bench? Is Dan Cloutier in net? Is Bertuzzi going to clock an unsuspecting Christian Huselius from behind the next time the two squads meet? Because this is starting to look a lot like the Canucks of old.

The ones that you never felt comfortable watching, even when they were sporting a three goal lead. The Canucks that you expected to slack off in the third period as they were fast forwarding to the post game, thinking about the gals from exotic New Westminster or Surrey whom they would be sweeping off their feet at elegant establishments ala the Roxy or Shark Club.

Not the squad of the weeks prior that travelled like a pod of orcas, preying on everything in site. If it takes a few more pesos to get them to return to form instead like Free Willies that they've been acting like, then that's money well spent. Economy be damned. I want The Cup.

See you from the top of the Sun Temple.


All Canucks games will now be viewed from the new Maniwaki luxury box.