For Real? The Rays?

Maintaining.

A lead in the AL East. That's traditiononally been a tough bill to fill. Yet the Tampa Bay Rays are rapidly earning the respect of everyone in baseball. From the murky halls of MLB headquarters to the hallowed causeways of Cooperstown. From writers bashing out random e-snippets to traditional press card locker room lurkers. These Rays are for real.

A benchmark 5-4 win over the Red Sox tonight, the Rays are not only a game a halfer up on Boston and in sole possession of first in the East.

They are the best team in baseball.

So bizzarre is this course of events that I am not predicting a SAG strike to be announced tommorrow. I'm predicting an impromptu MLB Player's Union strike as that will be the only way to stop these BJ Upstarts.

1-0

1-0. Jays over Braves. AJ watches some video footy, tweaks his delivery and sticks it to Bobby Cox and the Braves. Posting solid back to back starts, the enigmatic hurler should stir the media pot more often if this is the result.

1-0. Spain over Germany. Fernanando Torres lives up to the hype by scoring the only tally in the Euro Cup Final. Nice to see a nation where you have dinner at nine bells and party until seven in the morning win over one that's uber effiency and hyper work ethic spurned Kafka's literary retorts.

The Streak Is Broken...

...by about 24 seconds. Why? Summed up best by my cousin Ted as he walked past command central as I was trying frantically to log in to give you your daily dose of Maniwaki mayhem.

Ted: "Dial up?"

Me: "Yup."

Ted: "Rough."

Me: "Yup."

.
...
...

Yup.

Positive To Positive, Negative To Negative

Todd Bertuzzi cut loose from the Ducks. Brian McCabe and Mats Sundin are on their way out the Maple Leafs dressing room. One of these things does belong on the Canucks.

While I'm sure Canucks GM Mike Gillis and hordes of Vancouverites are debating over pints at the Shark Club, a Nazzy/Bertuzzi reunion, the recent retro moves made in Colorado should be indication that sometimes the hockey past is best remembered by ESPN Classic. Or digging out your old O-Pee-Chee card collection complete with Ron Dugay permed mullet.

And I'm sure some of the aforementioned lower mainlanders are also contemplating rolling the dice with Brian McCabe. However, there is one small problem, namely a no trade clause. Yes, we know the Leafs are desperately trying to revive their dead Lada of a squad, and yes we all know that no trade clauses are a pain in the ass for everyone, but the point is this: These stipulations must be honoured. Not softened or recinded, otherwise what's the point of having them? Here's an equation that works for me in the new NHL:

No Trade = No Trade

So the Canucks should not be doing business with MLSE unless they want to get some information on free agent:

Mats Sundin. As I have rallied for Sundin in the past, I am again announcing my plea. From the heartland of hockey country I am imploring Gillis to take a look at the books and sign the Swede for a year. A Naslund/Sundin battery would be so potent it would jumpstart the dead Canucks Lada.

GRADUATION DAY

Good evening, kiddies;

The Admiral and I attended our youngest crew member's high school graduation this eve; a time to pause, reflect, and ponder the inevitable passage into the future. On this festive occasion, let's turn our attention to some recent transitions in the wide world of sports...

(1) Dasvedanya: to the Russion football side. A plucky group, no doubt, but unfortunately too inexperienced to stand up to the Madrid Maulers. Time to go home, boil a pot of borscht, bathe some perogies in butter and sour cream, crack a bottle of Moskovskaya, and think about what could have been (actually, what could have been an ass-kicking at the hands of the Deutsche).

(2) Good riddance: to Darcy Tucker. All you Leafs apologists out there, please give it a rest. I mean now. PLEEAASE do not say a single word about "ohhh.. I can't believe they got rid of him. He was the heart and soul of this team. How are we going to replace him". Let's get it straight right now. If he's the heart of the team that missed the playoffs three straight years, it might be time for an EKG.

(3) Welcome? To Jermaine O'Neal. Yes, it was imperative that the Raps rid themselves of TJ Ford, but if you think you had a problem with Vince's attitude just wait 'til you see what you get later this year.

(4) Adios: to OJ Mayo. Mark it down in your calendars, children... today was the first (of many) times he will alienate / be alienated by his current NBA home. Another Starbury in the making.

(5) Welcome back: to Gene Tenace and the new Jays coaches. I'll tell you what, take a quick gander at the hitting stats pre- and post-Tenace return. Wow. I know the Admiral's been tooting a big horn about a Jays resurgence, and I might be starting to drink the Kool Aid.

Until we tranisition into tomorrow....

- the Skip

Fuckin' Ticker Eh?

...transmitted straight from the great plains.

...Marco Scutaro and Joel Inglett both did me proud by scratching out a single and launching a jack over right field, respectively, in a comeback bid against the Reds. The one, two of the lineup won Maniwaki Players Of The Week honors for answering last night's bell...

...The Canucks pick up Kyle Wellwood off waivers from the rapidly re-organizing Toronot Maple Leafs. GM, Mike Gillis is apparently, pleased. I apparently am not as this Wellwood appears more frail than Sam Jackson in "Unbreakable", boasting multiple groin surgeries as well as a broken foot suffered in training last month. This is just what we need. The Canucks to turn into the Washington Nationals of the NHL by bolstering their roster with castoffs in hopes of fooling everyone into thinking that they're a legitmate squad. Why doesn't Gillis try and coax Lindros out of retirement next?

...It's the end of June and guess who's back? The New York Yankees. These guys have more lives than Fred Savage at the helm Mario Bros in The Wizard as they've won nine of their last twelve. Of course. Koopa fucking troopa...

...the Skip and I had a heated game of catch on the front 40 as he instructed me on the finer points of the the slider. Just wait. Some northern Canadian squad will soon be boasting a rookie hurler in his mid thirties, with more junk than a New Jersey scrapyard...

Point, Counter Point - The Return

So the Jays roll back into the Dome and are greeted with a manic fanbase that are practically flogging themselves, proclaiming second coming of Cito. A scene so charged it made a southern state Promise Keeper rally appear subdued. As the Jays belted hit after hit after hit after hit (22 in total, to the tune of 15 runs) it was damn lucky that the roof was open as it would be a shame for Jays fans to be bonking their heads off of the Skydome rafters during this rapture.

Which led me comment to the Skip:

"Look at this. About time the bats woke up. We're destroying the Reds."

To which he replied:

"Hey that's great. They're beating a last place team."

Which of course prompted my:

"Yeah, but we've been losing to last place teams for the last two weeks. ie Seattle)

Which he followed up by proclaiming:

"Wonder why? Maybe because you're a last place team."

Clearly this could have continued for hours (and judging by the amount of Pilsner in the fridge, likely days...) So instead of trading barbs across the couch we decided to enter the e-octogon of Maulerland and continue the debate on the State Of Blue-nion.

Says I: A decisive and timely win at home complete with stunning pitching by a recent malcontent, coupled with the entire lineup contributing is the TSN turning point for the season. There is still hope.

Says the Skip: Certainly. It's always refreshing to remind yourself that there's hope to salvage the season. If you harness all 110% of the David Eckstein "go get'em" attitude, maybe you can even finish at .500. Wow. Wouldn't that be just dandy?

Says I: The game plan according to Jamie Campbell and his Sportsnet insiders is that the Jays want to reach .500 by the All Star Break. Which translates into going 12- 5. A mountain to climb yes, but not unreachable when the guy leading the march has a proven track record. Light years better than Gibby's "wait and see" attitude.

Says the Skip: Agreed on the last point. But just to note... my ass could manage the Jays better than Gibbons. Let's make that clear. And please, for the love of god, are you really going to listen to a single word that Jamie Campbell says? Unless, of course, he's providing recommendations on what conditioner works best to maintain his highlights the longest.

Says I: While his locks rival James Spader's best efforts from the '80's, the man gets the inside track. Perhaps we should return to the days of Tim Johnson's "Missing In Action" Vietnam prefabrications to spark the squad?

Says the Skip: Hell, at least it got the troops fired up for a bit. Ok. Clearly he was a dick, and a clear representation of Jays front office management plan over the last decade. Why don't we bring back Jim Fregosi while we're at it?? Perhaps Carlos Tosca?? Fuck it. It's Jimy Williams time.

Says I: Never you mind. I want to see Bobby Cox. The man who looked like he was ready to retire in '85. A solid six seasons before the Braves started to win division Championships. The Jays could bring back Garth Iorg and he'd hit .300. Why? Because Cito's at the helm.

Says the Skip: Look, if he's getting Garth Iorg knocking around a .300 spot, gotta think he'll get Alfredo Griffin flirting with .400. Why not bring back Dennis Lamp to close things out while you're at it?? You want glory days again? Give me a little WAMCO (a la '93) at the top of the shop.... Please. I beg you. Convince me there's hope when you start off a game trotting out Scuatro-Inglet-Rios-Wells-Stairs at the beginning of the game.

Says I: Stairs is leading the squad in home runs, Scutaro and Inglett, while not household names have been reliable blue collar Blun-ion members all season. (remember the names Yorveat Torrealba and Troy Tulowitzki from last season?) and Wells and Rios have just woken up from an extended winter's nap. It appears that while tonight's bash fest was indeed timely, we will have to see if it continues.

Says the Skip: Exhibit A - Matt Fucking Stairs is leading the team in dongs. Exhibit B - You're just made an attempt to state a case for Scutaro and Inglett. Exhibit C - It's damn near July. If Wells and Rios really wanted to do anything, it would've started by now. Count on Wells to continue to stare down his giant schnoz for the rest of the year, and Rios is going to rest on an I-just-signed-a-titanic-contract-and-can-sit-on-my-laurels-until-'09 mentality. Bottom line? Thanks for coming. We have some lovely parting gifts for you.

...tune in tommorrow as we continue to document the emergence of Scutaro and Inglett...

I Call This One: Tete A Tete

A resounding welcome to the first joint post by the Skip and myself, broadcast over dial up from the great plains. Having ventured home from opposite ends of this vast nation, we have convened to continue to steer the S.S. Sporting Spectacle along a favourable heading. The anchors are hoisted, the winds are favourable, and course has been charted. Bring up the deckhand and let's put together a pre sailing checklist before shoving off:

Bearing plotted. Check.

Pilsner. Check.

Clamato. (We're in the prairies and from the prairies, so never you mind.) Check.

Assorted meat plate. Check.

Tobacco ration. Check.

Brass spitoon. Check.

At long last, the Admiral and Skip are swabbing the same deck on this vessel.

We are ready. But are you?

Jays Hit! Get A Win!!!

With two jacks even!! One hit by the recently recalled from AAA, Adam Lind! Cito gets his first win in his return! BJ leaves his recent Batista-esque woes in the past and gets a much needed save! Jays get a much needed interleague "W"! Much like the recent M. Night Shamaylan flick, there is no twist or punchline in this post! I'm just exclaiming profusely!!!

Also Hate To Say I Told You So...

...but I figured I'd catch the last couple of interleague innings between the Braves and Mariners on the new TBS - or "Peachtree TV" as it's now called - and low and behold, who should enter the bottom half of the ninth to close for Seattle in a tight one run game?

Your favourite save disintegrator and mine, Miguel Batista.

Knowing immediately how this would play out, I hunkered down and got ready for the inevitable ensuing mound meltdown. Revelling in the fact that Batista had long departed the Jays, I was noticeably more relaxed as he trotted out of the bullpen. No tightening in the stomach. No bile eating away my innards. No nausea. Hell, I was even a tad giddy as if I was about to play some varsity prank on my neighbours to the south.

And wow. Did he ever deliver.

The events that followed were so textbook Batista, that they would certainly trump anything that Brittiania and World Book could ever muster up. They went as follows:

1. Batista takes the hill with his squad up 4-3 and looks everything except how a closer should ever look in such a situation. Sweating. Nervous. Fucked. Typical. But not my closer anymore, so I could just kick back and take it all in.

2. After pitching a first strike, he proceeds to walk the lead off batter on four straight pitches. Leading longtime Braves and recent "Peachtree" commentator, Skip Caray to announce:

"Batista has committed the cardinal sin of closing by walking the lead off batter."

Oh Skip. If only you knew the half of it...

3. As Greg Norton stepped up next leaving Batista to again start off with a strike and then completely abandon the zone. Leaving a growingly bewildered Skip Caray to report:

"Well he can pitch strike one and that's about it."

4. Cut to me howling like a madman on my couch. This southern, veteran National League broadcaster with his "mint julep on the porch" style of announcing has no idea what he is about to witness. A complete and utter implosion. One that I have experienced many, many, many times in the past. I hope he doesn't have a heart attack as I've narrowly avoided a few myself.

5. Surprise! Norton doubles, scoring the lead runner, Johnson. There are none out. Batista is sweating enough to burst an Iowa levy and my spleen is about to rupture. Caray chimes in matter of factly, stating:

"Well Batista isn't the answer."

No Skip, guess not. Blown save. Tie game. Four a crack. Appendix to burst next.

6. The rest of the Mariners however, buy into Batista's madness and intentionally walk Mark Teixeira. Poor saps.

7. Because Batista then hits Jeff Franceour loading the bases. Oh yeah. Still none out.

8. Which leads to the line of the night by Caray:

"Looks like a little league game."

As I'm ready to impale myself on the Space Needle at this point. Now you know!! Now you all know the shit I've had to endure!!!!

9. Brian McCann steps up and finally puts Caray, Batista, and the entire M's organization out of their misery by breaking his bat on a bloop single which brings home the winning run.

And 'nary an out to be seen during the entire affair.

Completely blown away by the sheer magnitude of what I had just witnessed, I howled maniacally as he SYTF (Shit Your Turner Field). Make no mistake. I have seen Batista blow saves in every conceivable fashion, but NEVER have I ever seen him crash with such intensity. With such purpose.

With such utter perfection.

This was his magnum opus. And I was elated to be a part of the magic one last time and share it with an obviously rattled Peachtree broadcast booth.

Now you all understand.

UMMM... I HATE TO SAY I TOLD YOU SO...

Fact #1

I knew this would happen:
http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=3454016

Fact #2

I called for this to happen:
http://maniwakimauler.com/2007/09/organizational-breakdown.html

Fact #3

A *.pdf of my CV is currently being delivered to 1 Blue Jays Way - Suite 3200, Toronto, ON, M5V 1J1

That is all.

- the Skip

Maniwaki Toolbox

There is no joy in Mudville...

Or the Pacific Northwest for that matter. While the Northeast New Englanders celebrate a 17th Championship banner for the Celtics, a first place Red Sox team and next year's likely Patriots and even Bruins resurgences, we here in this pocket of Pacifica are trying to escape the immense black cloud that's been hanging over the region. Barometrically, it is indeed the coldest and rainiest June on record. In the sporting spectacle, things are not much different as:


1. The Seattle Supersonics are in court desperately trying to get their new owners to abide by the lease with Key Arena, which would ensure the team stays put until 2010. If not, the organization will be packing up wagons and hitting the beaten trail out to Oklahoma City.

2. The Canucks have recently said, "So long Trev," as the heart and soul of the squad, Trevor Linden recently called it a day after nineteen seasons in the league.

3. The highly lauded Mariners are the worst team in the bigs and have been axing key management positions faster than if they didn't hit that high "C" on American Idol.

4. Which is what will be happening to the Jays organization very soon, if the bats and the brass and certain members of the staff (yes, you AJ...) don't wake up soon. I know T.O. is a way from the Pacific Northwest, but local baseball fans pray at the altar of either Safeco or Skydome, so the Jays are Pacific Northwest by proxy.

So what to do amidst all of this humdrum? Casually meander through grey, precipitous streets lamenting the days of the mid-90's when the Canucks and Mariners were each putting together solid post season drives right on the heels of the back to back Jays World Series? Should we stare out over the ocean and reflect on the days when the Sonics were winning division titles more often than not, and the Vancouver Grizzlies were just starting scratch and claw their way around the NBA?

Well it would be easy to continue to bemoan this state of affairs whilst curling up in a warm Pacific Northwest blanket of the past, but if we are to vanquish these clouds of current defeats we need to grab the toolbox, pull out the trouble lamp and shine it on all of the above noted organizations. Fortunately I have such a lamp in my Maniwaki toolbox. Let's switch it to "On" and shine it in the direction of:

The Vancouver Canucks. New GM Mike Gillis has decided to keep coach Vigneault for next season. Now the question remains as to who else is going to make the cut. Although this is highly contentious, I am actively campaigning for the re-signing of Markus Naslund. On two conditions.

That the Canucks sign him to a one year contract max. And that we make a play for a marquee power forward. (And no we don't already have one. Kesler is an emerging power forward.) If this means we trade away some of the young talent (like Kesler) than so be it, as long as we're trading up. You want to win? Then be prepared to make some serious moves. Just like the recent ones made by;

The Seattle Mariners. Firing on all cylinders by axing both GM Bill Bavasi and skipper, John McLaren within days, the team has recently stated that no one's job is safe. The much heralded Eric Bedard was even put on the block today signalling that the club means business.

The Maniwaki fix for the M's? Get rid of Miguel Batista immediately. On this point I cannot be more serious. Believe me, his 3-8 record coupled with his 6.09 ERA is even worse than it looks. I have watched so many Blue Jays blown saves from this guy when he was a closer, I still get nightmares.Send him to quadruple "C" Wala Wala and don't look back.

Then perhaps contemplate giving Richie Sexson the Barrie Zito treatment and accept the fact that you grossly over payed a guy who will never live up to the hype. Give him and Batista their walking papers and hopefully free up some salary. Then take Erik Bedard and send him off to the Pacific Northwest by proxy;

The Toronto Blue Jays. For AJ Burnett. Are we just swapping under performing aces? Not necessarily. We are providing scene changing scenarios for two pitchers that drastically need them. Consider. AJ's recent woes in T.O. Being booed off the mound, and then acknowledging that he'd welcome a trade to Chicago, a market where baseball is "breakfast, lunch and dinner." While Seattle is no Chicago, ball is more ingrained in the local sports culture. Also there is no way that Safeco fans would boo him after a shanky outing. His strike out numbers are top 10 in the League and would definitely bolster a Batista-less staff.

Bedard, an Ontario native, would be welcomed with open arms and Skydome roof as he'd draw fans in droves to help to make baseball breakfast, lunch and dinner again in the T.O. Think I'm just jotting down a Christmas wish list and ignoring the numbers? Think again. Do you really think 39 year old, New Brunswick native Matt Stairs would be leading his team in home runs, much less even playing if he weren't in Toronto? Bring Bedard to Toronto and you'll see Cy Young contention again. With fans going wild, just like they do for the:

The Seattle Supersonics. Here's an idea. Why doesn't David Stern do something to stop his rapid decline - so violent and drastic it is, he's making Bud Selig and Gary Bettman look like saints - and stand up and save the Sonics? Just nix this bogus deal so that this historic franchise can continue to operate in a town that's done nothing but show them love for over 40 years? Never before have I seen a fanbase fight so hard to keep their team. As the city itself has taken owner Clay Bennet to federal court in hopes of at least stalling the move for two years.

Fans and former Sonics (Gary Payton, Sean Kemp) have all crawled out of the woodwork to do their part. What's needed in this case is some divine legal intervention as well as some of the local corporate power houses to step up and build a new Starbucks Stadium or something similar.

Despite a few finals appearances among Pacific Northwest teams from all pro sports, there are a total of only two championship banners that hang in the region. NBA Championships for the Portland Trailblazers in 1977 and the Seattle Supersonics in 1979. No Superbowls, no Stanley Cups, no World Series. Owners, GM's and state officials should heed these Maniwaki recommendations so that more banners can be hung instead of taken away.

KG, How Do You Really Feel?

Ok, it seems I'm 0-2 in predicting Game 7's. But what evs, let's just kick back and enjoy one of the most emotional, nonsensical and ultimately best championship winning rants ever. How can you not be happy for this guy?

The Preview Post - NBA Finals Game 6

Another dog and Kobe show.

Really not much else to say, except to echo the scenario of Game 5. KG won't be able to close, Allen will disappear, and Pierce won't be able to do it all by himself thus fuelling the punditocracy with enough ammo to liberate New Englanders from the Union so they can rejoin Britain.

Which these shell shocked North Easterners will be clamoring to do as their beloved Celtics are going to lose the battle at home tonight and force a very, very real Game 7.

Whoa That Tiger...

I am no golfer. I have played an estimated total of 36 holes in my entire life. I can't drive without the ball slicing drastically. I can't chip. I can't putt worth a shit unless there's a windmill before the whole. And I have certainly never watched golf on TV.

Until yesterday.

Some cats crowding around the telly yesterday were hell bent on watching some tourney called the "US Open", and were hooting and hollering all the while. I had to see what all the hubbub was about. I tuned in at the right time, as the leader Rocco Mediate was just finishing. And Tiger Woods and Brit, Lee Westwood were hot on his heels. With both contenders having to birdie the par 5, 18th hole to force a next day playoff round, the tension in the air could be felt all the way from Torrey Pines in San Diego to Stanley Park in Vancouver.

We watched as both Westwood and Woods each put their respective drives in the sand trap. And then weren't surprised when Westwood respectably chipped out, eventually parred the course, and exited the tourney by a stroke.

Leaving all eyes on Tiger. Even I was losing it. Now, I know he's a superhero and I've heard the stories over the years about his legendary iron will with skill to match, but how could even he, escape the sand trap and sink the ball in three hacks?

Apparently by pitching the ball out, then chipping onto the green then making the most amazing 12 foot putt to seal the deal. And force an extra 18 holes today. My god, I thought there was tension watching October baseball. Watching this last hole just about required a defibrillator.

The Preview Post - NBA Finals Game 5

All Kobe, all the time. This is what we will see tonight as Bryant will jack the Superman cape from Dwight Howard and proceed to lay the smack down on the Celtics making them look like bumbling bank robbers.

He will call plays, he will drive, he will shoot threes, he will singlehandedly dismantle Boston. The Celts can wear all the green they want, they will not have enough Kryptonite to slow Kobe down.

Why am I so confident in this claim? For the simple reason that Kobe's resolve to avoid elimination thus calling into question his "legacy", is stronger than the combined closing power of the Celts.

I hate to say it. I really do.

But it is what it is. Unsurprisingly, ego will be the deciding factor in LA tonight, which Kobe has in spades and the Celtics don't. Allen, although he had a stellar Game 4 will be non-existent tonight. KG will be so quiet one it will seem as if he's on the bench. Pierce will gear up with a motorized battle suit and will have another respectable night, but in the end it won't be enough to beat the Kryptonian Kobe.

Kobe's Game 5 kicks.

IT'S WAR!

That's right. The Maniwaki Mauler is officially declaring war on MLB.

Why? The proposed video review system is being fast tracked for implementation this season.

How bad is this for the game?

Bad. As the following recommendations have been outlined in a memo circulating around MLB offices:

1. Replay will be used for border calls and disputed home run calls only. Which at first doesn't sound completely outrageous, but make no mistake. Once you open the door, it cannot be shut. Will we see computer generated strike zones by 2015? The pitcher replaced with a Steve Jobs created iPitcher hurling unit by 2021?

2. Like the NHL, there will be one central office that will review instant replay information from each game. The office will be located at MLB HQ. In New York. So that borderline jack that might not have cleared the monster at Fenway? Hold please while we go to the Big Apple for confirmation...

3. The camera feeds used will come from which ever are available for that game. Meaning in market, out of market and MLB cams. So the YES Network could potentially be the deciding factor in disputed home run calls as of;

4. August Fucking First. No trial phase in the minors like originally planned, MLB owners want to ram this thing through although the season is almost half completed. While many teams will be heated division races, the game will see one of the most significant rule changes in its history. What next? Four strikes in September?

5. From the memo:

"There would be no limit on the number of times that a crew chief could use instant replay in a game, but MLB believes that instant replay would be used only about ten times per season."

Really. 162 games per team each season, that's 2430 MLB games in total, and baseball bosses are estimating only 10 uses? More like 10 times in the first 10 minutes..

6. MLB wants replay in place soon so that it will be ready for October. Just think, won't it be great to see a borderline Derek Jeter ground rule double decided by a computer in the final days of Yankee Stadium?

I'm grabbing the lumber and taking some extras swings in the cage, as this site will go down swinging before ever accepting such a travesty to the game.

More Bad Blood

Well hockey's over and all the hardware has been handed out, but that doesn't have to mean that bitter feuds and nasty vendettas between big league teams has to end.

Enter the latest of such gentlemanly rivalries: The Boston Red Sox vs The Tampa Bay Rays. It appears that Tampa took the "devil" out of their name and injected it onto the field as starter James Shields plunked Coco Crisp last week tipping off an epic bench clearer. In the post game, Crisp appeared as jovial as Ottawa net minder Ray Emery, when asked about the brawl and its further implications.

Implications that have also been echoed by resident Red Sox closer, Jonathon Papelbon, who recently claimed that it isn't over between the two teams and "payback is a bitch."

And if Paplebon says it you know, at some point the roof is going to come off Tropicana Field during the Red Sox next visit, so MLB might want to hire the UFC's Dana White to help promote the three game stint starting June 30th. They might even have to put it on pay per view.


"Now imagine this scenario with Papelbon getting all Braveheart in the middle of it. Yikes."

And The Winner Is...

The NHL Awards are on right now and I can't believe what I'm seeing. A slapped together CBC production so heinous that it was most likely produced by Wheels, Joey Jermiah, and one of the kids from Road To Avonlea. I have attended Elementary School awards nights in '80's rural Saskatchewan that displayed more professional. So far I have been witness to:

1. A slate of pro hockey players so nervous they can barely string a sentence together. Pros fumbling over their words every two seconds, flat line tele prompt readings and the usual hockey cliches mangled into nonsensical ramblings that taper off into the bizzare. Like watching the post game interview with the sound kicking in and out every couple of seconds.

2. Presentation music that was probably made on one of Rush's synthesizers from '81. Think the classic "Subdivisions" mixed with community television of the same era and you've got the idea.

3. Six rows of minor age kids that are forced to sit on stage and endure the very trite and ultimately absurd "tribute to the future of the game", as each tongue tied NHL'er stumbles through another awkward monologue that attempts to combine nostalgic images with the "bright future" of the game. Surprisingly, every bantam and snowflake that has taken the mike has outshone every NHL pro in the public speaking department. I credit all the hip hop that the kids are listening to these days.

4. Mr. Hockey himself, Gordie Howe, being thrown in lion's den, being placed on stage to receive a tribute to his career. Thank God that the bulk of it was a video presentation narrated by none other than Wayne (who of course did a bang up job) thus leaving the NHL legend with at least a shred of dignity. I couldn't imagine if it were done live. It would sound like a Judas Priest tape played backwards.

5. Martin Brodeur winning yet another Vezina. Enough.

6. Gary Bettman lurking around like the uncle at the family gathering that everyone knows has a compulsive gambling problem.

7. Multitudes of hockey wives that look like they are straight out of a Def Leppard video. Or even worse. Warrant.

8. Martin Brodeur winning another fucking Vezina. Enough.

The only salvageable cog out of this train wreck is that Alexander Ovechkin won the Hart Trophy as he truly deserved it.

Cue Geddy Lee playing the synth and we'll see you next year...

A Champion Of Champions

Trevor Linden hung up his blades up today. The classiest Canuck ever to lace up in the lower mainland. He captained the squad to it's nearest brush ever with The Cup, namely the notorious, Game 7 of the '94 Final. He acted as head rep of the NHL Player's Association union and was practically the only guy to walk out of the bitter, nasty, drawn out affair that was the lockout, looking like an English gentleman. His off season work out routine was legendary which allowed him to continue playing for so long.

Right up until the end, he played the game as hard as a fresh faced rookie yet lead with the confidence of a seasoned general, inspiring the troops to their last meaningful win of the season, showing them how to score with authority in the shoot out and even helping them throw down with the Oilers in a monster late season division dust up. He was always a leader if he wore the "C" or not and he will be greatly missed in this neck of the woods for a long time to come.

Thanks for your years of stunning service to the squad Trev. A guy like this puts the "Man" in Maniwaki Mauler.

The "C" stood for so much: Captain, Champion, Class, Canuck

Oh look here's Kobe...

...being interviewed in half time giving completely glib answers. Why? Because he's pissed his heavily favoured squad is down two games to none in the Finals. Sure the Lakers are up by six right in the game now, but we know that KG and Pierce will turn it on in the second half to put the lock on the title. Let's hope the Celtics finish it off in four because:

1. as much as I can appreciate a Boston/LA Final, if I hear the any more hype surrounding the history of this rivalry I'm going to smack myself in the head repeatedly with an old Reebok pump.

2. the Kobe/ MJ comparisons have got to stop. Yes, Kobe is an exceptional player, but there is only one Michael Jordan. One.

3. Garnett just deserves a ring already.

And The Bats Went Dead Again...

...and here I am watching yet another .500 Blue Jays team. Tonight's contest ended in a ten inning, 3-2 loss to the worst team in the majors, the Seattle Mariners.

Enough of this middle of the road nonsense. Maybe Rogers could coax Pat Gillick out of retirement to reassemble an early '90's throwback squad. Maybe Jesse Barfield will quit doing commentary for the CBC, suit back up and gun runners out from right field. Maybe Todd Stoddlemyer will come out of the bush from hunting ten point bucks and toss a few innings of solid middle relief. Maybe some shit better get sorted out pretty quick or we'll see the unthinkable happen, as the Orioles and Rays will be left duking it out for the East Crown.

Maniwaki Ticker - Sunday's Snippets

...Damn those Rays sure are feisty. After getting into a huge dust up with the Red Sox last week, starter Matt Garza and catcher Dioner Navarro,both for Tampa, got into a near brawl on the mound. Sticking their respective gloves in each other faces on the hill, the two proceeded to actually tilt in the dugout after the inning. The only mound meeting that I can think of that is more bizarre than this is the congregation of the infield in Bull Durham. Maybe Garza and Navarro were fighting over what to get Carl Crawford for a wedding present....


...BJ Ryan came into the ninth in a tight game vs the Orioles and didn't blow it. The Jays put up a much needed "W", as did the Doc. BJ,you're officially back in the Maniwaki good books again. With all the fracas around the bigs lately, it would be bad for baseball to stay mad at the big guy...


...Holy fuck does KG mean business. I didn't catch much of Game 2 of the NBA Finals, but what I did see hit me as hard as if I'd dissed Charles Barklay in the media and then randomly met up with him walking out to the Home Depot parking lot. In the first quarter, Garnett single handedly ripped the golden warm up pants off the Lakers defence by fighting off three players and making the most awkwardly sick lay up I've ever seen. Even after a late push by LA, the Celtics managed to hold the line for the win, thus putting out Jack's cigar for the night. I'm anxious to read the commentary of the pundititions tomorrow as there will be enough back peddling to win the Bizzarro Tour de France...

Ghosts Of Batista

Demons. Demons I tell you.

That has to be the answer for the black ju-ju that's been swirling around the Blue Jays bullpen recently. A string of massive meltdowns in the last week have seen the Jays squander leads in otherwise competently played ball games.

It's almost as if the specter of former Jays converted closer, Miguel Batista, is still lingering around the bullpen, whispering taunts in hurlers' ears and needling them in the ribs when they're in the stretch. An anti-Angel in the outfield.

How else can you explain the usually dominant BJ Ryan suddenly morphing into Byung-Hyun Kim by coughing up back to back saves something so nasty that he should really be sitting on the DL with pneumonia?

Or the usually reliable Brian Tallet giving up three runs in the eighth yesterday, the dagger being a two run Melvin Mora jack, which saw Toronto's 4-0 lead over the O's dwindle to 4-3?

And then in the same inning the recently acquired and once imposing Armando Benitez giving up another two run bomb hand the O's a 6-4 lead?

***SIDE NOTE*** Seeing as Benitez was involved in this latest catastrophe, things are starting to become much more clear. If you ever want a falling on the floor laugh that puts your upper intestine through the paces, ask The Skip what he thinks about Armando Benitez. (maniwakimauler[at]gmail.com attn: Skip)

As I have the latest contest with the Orioles on right now, it seems that the Batista syndrome is starting to plague the rotation as well as AJ got positively shelled and the score now sits at 9-1 for the Camdonians. You know things are getting bad in Skydome land when the entire stadium booed Burnett as he left the hill in the fourth and he responded by tipping his cap to them.

To paraphrase a quote from one of the greatest baseball movies ever made:

"Better order a bucket of fried chicken."

Another Maniwaki Mobile Test

Can you hear me now bitches?

Hockey Wins!

Ok, so the Octonet calculated all possible game scenarios for Game 6, relayed the information to its Red Wing pawns on the ice, and did indeed claim The Cup. Yes, it would've been nice to see Sid and Malkin and co. hoist it in their first trip to the finals, but all in all, one cannot be disappointed.

What a series.

Games 1 and 2 aside, the 2008 Stanley Cup Finals will go down as one of the most high flying, heart stopping, "holy-fuck-I-can't-believe-I-just-saw-that!" series ever to be played. Non stop end to end action, mind numbingly skilled puck handling, kamakazi shot blocking, Jedi Master goal tending, unbelievable bounces and even more unbelievable late game heroics.

Despite being drastically outplayed, the Pens finally found a way to hold the line shift after shift, period after period and make it a series. As both squads are extremely talented, the experience of the Wings (which translated into their uber-efficient, business as usual game plan) gave them their CCM Tacks the edge.

After Game 6 was over and the speeches were given and The Cup was polished, presented and hoisted, Ronnie Big Time and I reflected on the 07/08 NHL Season and playoffs. And really what could we say other than giving the entire run and unequivocal, indisputable:

Good for hockey.

Now let's take one more look at Hossa's last second attempt to send it to Game 7 and the ensuing Red Wing celebration.

Maniwaki Mobile Test

This is a maniwaki mobile test.

The Preview Post - Game 6. The Final.

Game 6.

I'm so happy we're here. As I'm sure you are too, unless of course you're from Michigan. For a guy that's been cheering for hockey through out these playoffs, I can certainly say that I'm as pleased as punch as to how things have unfolded.

Sure Game 5 wasn't the Pittsburgh blowout that I expected and Hossa was not the star (although he did lead all forwards with a goal and an assist, the goal being the much underrated but hugely important first of the match) it really doesn't matter.

If you watched any part of this instant classic, you know what I'm talking about.

How about one of the best games ever to be played in The Final? How about the battle weary Pens gritting it out and scoring to tie it up with 34.3 seconds remaining in the potential Cup clinching match? And then continuing to grind on for three overtime periods before Sykora slapped the eventual game winner?

And how about Fleury?

The kid making the case for genetic mutation being the next step in human evoloution, this X-man swatted aside 55 shots, 26 of them in OT, remaining as cool and collected as Remy Lebeau the entire time.

With the credits having rolled and the feel good story of Game 5 now behind us, who will win tonight's all important match? With both teams facing an ungodly amount of pressure that would certainly make one's cranium detonate, it appears that the team that is able to channel the nonchalance and intensity of the aforementioned Gambit will prevail. Will it be:

The Penguins? Now that they've learned what it takes to win the toughest of playoff games, will they be able to repeat the feat tonight? Aside from catching a break from Detroit's own goal gaffe, the Pens worked like fiends for every opportunity and walked out of Joe Louis Arena after Game 5 as if they were walking out of the UFC Octagon. They put their bodies in the line of fire for the win. Gonchar, injured in the third, came back and assisted on the game winning goal, while Ryan Malone also stuck it out, after literally getting his face rearranged from a deflected puck. Will the battered squad be able to storm the hill again? And if so, will Fleury be able to put on another acrobatic performance to beat:

The Red Wings? Is it reasonable to expect two bad games in a row from Detroit? Especially after they came within 30 seconds of The Cup? Not likely. This emotionless, surgically precise squad has proven that they are more than capable of closing out series after experiencing the odd glitch in the matrix. While Osgood has acknowledged that the Octonet collective has processed the sting of defeat in Game 5 (himself, stating the amount of time he spent he personally dwelt on it in seconds. Three. I'm not kidding.), we can expect another upgrade to the squad's software as it will be back to business.

And where does this leave us?

To the only logical conclusion of this stellar, storybook series.

Game 7. Get ready.














Does the Fleury family tree have a branch in Cajun country?

The First Doesn't Belong To Joba

In his much anticipated first start for the Yanks, Joba Chamberlain probably wanted to retreat to his old digs in the set up spot. In his inaugural opening frame, Joba walked Jays lead off man Shannon Stewart, and then balked sending Stewart over to second.

Some shanky infield antics courtesy of catcher Jose Molina (who allowed a passed ball) and Jason Giambi (who misplayed a Scott Rolen grounder) allowed the Jays load the bases and score a run. As Chamberlain is on a strict pitch count of 70 today, and has already thrown 37, we might not see him four days until his next start.

The first inning line on Joba:

1 hit, 3 walks, 1 balk, 1 earned run and two strike outs.

Nope. No fist pumping today.

The Preview Post - Game 5. The Final.

Oh my...get ready.

This is going to be a dandy. While the Red Wings never blew out the Pens in Game 4, they did enough to secure a victory to put a UFC style armbar on the the series, 3-1. The TSN turning point of the contest came when Crosby and company were unable to capitalize on a 5 on 3 in the 3rd.

Don't expect this type of "offensively challenged" play tonight however. Hossa, Hossa, Hossa and more Hossa tonight as the Pens will escape the submission hold and pick their game up off the mat. Although the aforementioned trade deadline acquisition has already more than proved his worth, tonight will be the bonus clause in the contract that everyone forgot to read. The one that states:

"If the player (Marian Hossa), makes it to the Stanley Cup Final, and finds his team (Pittsburgh Penguins) down three games to one in said Final, the player (Marian Hossa) will elevate his game to somewhere past Pluto to secure his team (Pittsburgh Penguins) a chance to play in the sixth game and will summarily be rewarded with 230 million Korunas and a spot in between Mario and Terry Bradshaw in the Pittsburgh Playoff Pantheon Of Heroes."

BJ Blows It

Uggghhh....AJ goes eight strong allowing only 3 runs, only to have BJ Ryan do his best Miguel Batista impersonation and cough one up. And what a dirty, massive hairball it was.

Going into the ninth, the Jays were up 3-2, and after allowing a couple of runners to reach base, they were forced to load the bases to get the force second and third out.

Then, in a scenario you'd expect out of a little league game, or Bad News Bears movie, the runner on third, walked home. Not because Ryan gave up a walk, or even a balk. BJ apparently hit the batter, Howie Kendrick, to allow Torii Hunter to prance on home and tie the game.

Obviously rattled, and as the Anaheim crowd hooted and hollered and swung those goddam rally monkeys around, the Jays stopper then proceeded to give up a single to Maicer Izturis which brought Casey Kotchman across home plate for the Angel's second walk off win in as many days.

For all intents and purposes, the Jays should have swept this series, taking one run leads into the late innings for two days. Todays blunder was Ryan's first blown save of the year, so I won't harp on him too much. At least when he shanks one, he does it like he means it. And will point to these culprits instead:

1. The Rally Monkeys. Would the Commissioner's office please do something right for baseball and ban this painful practice which demonstrates grown men swinging around stuffed animals?

2. Angels In The Outfield. I know those heavenly hosts must be lurking around the last few days. Think I'm crazy? Then why did the Halo's just sign Danny Glover to a three day contract while the Jays were in town?

3. David Eckstein. Although he went 3 for 11 during the series, you just know that the l'il gaffer and former World Series MVP just couldn't bring himself to defeat his former championship squad, and was most likely feeding signs to the Angels dugout in the late innings.