Never Mind The Sasquatch...

...could this be an actual sighting?

If so, let's hope that the Mauler's appearance is a good omen for Les Habitants as they got pushed to the brink this eve. Now down 3-1 to the Flyers, and The Battle Of Pennsylvania looking more and more likely, the Canadiens are going to have to summon all of their shamanic strength to stay alive. If a sacrifice to the Maniwaki totem is required than so be it. Let's hope Alexei Kovalev and the Brothers Kostitsyn are prowling the woods right now with compound bows, on the hunt to bag a prize stag in which to offer.

Thanks to the Skip's compadre, Pete, for supplying this much needed link in such dire times.

Stanley Cup Prose

Some short prose regarding this evenings second round contests. Ahem...

Go Sid.
Go San.
Go Stan Mikita's army.

...thank you.

Stopped By Superman

You gotta love this game?

You gotta love this squad.

Yeah, the Raptors lost tonight in Orlando and got knocked out in the playoffs, but at least they went out with class. Seeing as Dwight Howard donned his Superman Cape for the majority of the series, it appeared Bosh and the boys couldn't muster enough Kryptonite to stop him.

But not for lack of trying.

Bosh, prior to Game 3 demanded that all T.O. fans wear red and cause more of a ruckus than William Wallace's battle ready line up in Braveheart. The Leafless GTA residents responded and hooted and hollered and helped the Raps win their only game of the series. I think the odd Celtic spear might have landed on the court at some point.

This is the kind of leader you need. A player that can not only inspire his team, but can demand action from the crowd. And get it. Yes, the Raptors crapped out at the end of the season, but unlike the Canucks you can't get too mad at them. They put forth a solid effort, and truly seem like a team on the verge. They are so much like the '80s Blue Jays it's scary. I give them a few more seasons before they get more diabolacle than Luthor and take down the Big Red S. And get their Championship Rings inlayed with Kryptonite.




Next season...

Finally Rolen

How about a jack from Scott Rolen in the first to get the squad going? And then Rios (now batting lead off) going 4 for 5? And number 5 starter, Jesse Litsche going seven strong to bolster his record to a staff high 3-1? And Maniwaki favourite, Jose Guillen, making a god awful throwing decision to which allowed Rios to score?

Yes the six game losing streak is finally banished as the Jays dropped the Royals 5-3, but now the lads will have a day off to reflect on their new line up before meeting the Red Sox for a three games. Let's hope they can do what the Rays just did today and swept Boston(?!!)

Yes, I know it's early but did you think you'd ever see AL East standings that have Tampa, Baltimore and Boston all tied for first?

In a non-Xbox league?

Flying Under The Radar

These Flyers appear to be for real. Winning a decisive game in the toughest building in the NHL for away teams, the Bell Centre, Philly managed to garner a split and now heads home for Game 3.

They're doing what every dark horse team does no matter what sport it is. They are getting quality at bats from across the line up. Names like Joffery Lupul, Jim Dowd, Scottie Upshall and RJ Umberger keep turning up. It is becoming evident as to why they were able to contain Ovechkin for at least part of the first round, and eventually squeak their way out of it.

And like all dark horse teams that nobody notices until it's too late, the Flyers are playing with gusto. I would not be surprised if they haven't conducted seances before games to channel the collective spirits of the Broad Street Bullies. There are some jerseys in pro sport that physically and psychologically change a person once they dress in it.

For example, the second you put on Yankee pin stripes your batting average increases 10%. Just for suiting up. When you don on a Flyers Jersey, you know you're going to have sore knuckles later. It's just how it is.

Do not be surprised if they take the Canadiens to seven games. Or even worse. Win in five.




As if you wouldn't be walking down the street slashing random passers by at the knees after throwing this baby on.

Bad News Blue Jays

I don't know how much more of this I can take. After Rolen cracked a clutch two run double in his first game with the Jays to put them up by two they then proceeded to absolutely STFFIAR. (Shit Their Fucking Fifth In A Row)

Ugghh. This inning was probably the worst I've seen in baseball since the infamous Bartman inning in the '03 NLCS. I've played on little league squads that have boasted better managing and better fielding. AJ (who was pitching a gem until this point) was allowed to continue about two batters too long in top bottom of the eighth as he allowed a run and a few more base runners.

Does Gibbons pull him after two base runners get on? (Jose Fucking Guillen being one of them) No, he does his best homage to Grady Little and allows Burnett to continue. Which set the table for the following series of ridiculous events.

AJ gives up the inevitable single which scores Guillen to make it 4-3. The dugout wises up and decides to finally bring in a reliever, the reliable Scott Downs. Who does his job by giving up a soft grounder that would've resulted in a double play to end the inning.

Had David Eckstein forgot not forgot how to catch a ball at second. He dropped the toss from Downs which resulted in another KC batter scoring tying the game. And still only one out.

And from here on in it all went to shit. More pitching follies which resulted in more fielding blunders, which resulted in a total of SIX RUNS SCORED to put the Royals up 8-4. All the while, the Spouse was reading various articles on the recent global food/energy crisis as I was drawing up plans to live in a shack in rural Montana and start my own militia/slow pitch team.

How could have this nonsense been averted? Two scenarios.

1. Be a manager and pull your pitcher. It was the eighth inning, the Jays had just taken the lead and AJ was approaching 100 pitches. Let's get one thing straight. He is not Roy Halladay and will not go the distance every game. Pull him while he's still on top.

2. Where the fuck was John McDonald? Like I said, it was eighth and the Jays just took the lead. Why wasn't defensive Jedi Master McDonald inserted onto the field? There is no way he would've shanked the sure double play that Eckstein did. He most likely would've made the force at second and then ran personally over to first to get the force their. All by using the force.

Monday morning QB-ing you say? I say more like real time screaming at my television, pleading for some common sense. GM JP Ricciardi stated recently that he didn't want to let the division get away from the Jays too early, and that is the reason that The Big Hurt got cut loose. Will he be as forgiving with his club's manager?

Speaking Of Grit

The Avs and Red Wings square off tonight in yet another post season dust up. Will things get as nasty this time as they have in the past? Probably not, but here's a montage of a few of the gentlemanly contests that the two squads have engaged in over the years. Starting with the vicious Claude Lemieux hit on Chris Draper that kicked the whole thing off. Happy second round!

The New Guy

So former player agent, Mike Gillis, is the new GM in town. Hopefully he can retool the Canucks in the off season into a lethal, scoring, death machine. Or at least a team that can net at least a few more goals. From the man himself:

"I don't think this team is close at this particular point," he said. "I think there is a good foundation here. I think this team needs to get faster. It needs more grit. It needs to be more competitive. There are a number of areas that need to be addressed."

Faster? More grit? Now we're talking. What Gillis decides to do with Naslund (a player he used to represent) will be under much scrutiny. Will he bring him back? If so, for how much? And if so will he retain the "C"? Will Gillis do what Nonis wouldn't and package some of the young guns like Edler and Bourdon? Will he bring in '80's New York Islander enforcer (and Sasky native), Clark Gillies, to crack heads and whip the squad into shape if they slack off? We can only hope...





"Hey Burrows...don't even THINK of going to the Roxy tonight."

The Clock Strikes

B.Day. Yeah not digging it. The age that is, not the day. Let's get to it.

...Jays drop one to the Rays. The Devil Rays have had our number since day one. Ex Jay, Hinske buried us by driving in the tying run, scoring the winning run and cracking one for good measure to seal it up. Always liked the cat...but not tonight...


...Philly wins in Game 7 OT. Could this get any worse? Who didn't want to see Ovechkin and the Caps face off against Pittsburgh in the next round while Montreal would have met Original Six rival, the Rangers? Now we have to sweat through the inevitable 7 Game shocker that Montreal/Philly is going to put us through, while Crosby and company crap out to Sean Avery and the Blue Shirts in 5 games. Don't worry Alex. I still root for you. My cousin and I deduced today that we're most likely, distant relatives from the Old Country. Blood stands by blood.

...Flames lose in Game 7. Fuck I just can't catch a break. Still it could be worse. They could've lost to any of the other squads still kicking in the West. From here on it, the only cats I want to see from the west in the final better have a roster that rhymes with a player on it that rhymes with Kee Hooo...

These are the licks one is dealt when they reach a certain age. Without compassion or compunction, by the Pantheon Of Sporting Gods strike. It is an indoctrination. A challenge if you will, to see if one has the muster to continue in this pursuit of the just and righteous in the world of pro sport. In which there is only one logical answer:

Fucking please. Is this best you can do?

Another Curse Reversed?

More shades of '04...

Just like the Red Sox of that year finally defeated their long time arch enemies, the New York Yankees in a highly improbable comeback from being down 3-0 in the ALCS, here we are at another potential classic upset.

The Canadiens, who have historically given the Bruins the Bucky Dent and Aaron Boone treatment that the Yanks have historically given then Red Sox, are scrambling to come up big and win Game 7 tonight. After being up 3-1 in the series and still unable to finish things off.

The more I see from these magical Boston squads, the more I really believe that some Boston sports fan made some incredible Faustian deal with Beelzebub somewhere around '02. It is hard to imagine a city that boasts the likes of the modern day Red Sox, Patriots and Celtics could even exist somewhere other than the mind of a 12 year old, but as these squads have proven over the last few years perhaps our sports realities are in fact the lucid day dream of some 9th Dimensional New England entity. One that has recently discovered hockey.

I realize the the Bell Center will be packed to the rafters with ravenous rouge et bleu faithful, but even this might not be enough to send the Les Habitants to the next round as recent New England sports history has demonstrated that we are all definitely living in Bostonian Times.



Sorry Higgy. Not this time.

The Big Hurt's Big Exit

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Frank Thomas is benched one day and released from the team the next? What's going on? After a hot start, The Big Hurt's bat went silent and Jays' response was to bench him. Not digging this scenario and thinking their decision premature, he sounded off in the media saying he "didn't want his career to end like this."

The man has a point. Jays GM, JP Ricciardi, says that they can't wait for him to work through another early season slump. The speculation is that the organization wanted to save the extra 10 million bucks that they would've had to pay Thomas had he reached 1000 plate appearances. As he was 304 trips away, the Jays figured they'd cut their losses now.

The question is this. Did they make a mistake? I am inclined to say yes. A slump at the beginning of the season is not the end of the world. Yes the East is a tough div and you don't want it to get away from you, but Thomas lead the team in home runs and rbi's last year. The recent offensive struggles of the Jays can't be pinned on Thomas alone. Yes he started off the season hitting three timely bombs against Boston and then went on to hit .187 or whatever it was over the last few weeks, but I don't remember anyone else really shining through during this period either.

They just cut a guy that was sticking it to the Sox, and for that the front office was very short sighted. There are 15 more games against div leading Boston this season, and it might've been worth it for the Jays to keep The Big Hurt on board. They at the very least could've kept him on through April and made a decision then. He most likely would've gotten hot again. But now it's too late. A guy that's a future Hall Of Famer definitely deserves better.

The Ninth

Dominance in the ninth. This is what I demand as a Jays fan. I realize that some might think me harsh for not being completely happy with the BJ Ryan save as the Jays dropped the Tigers 3-2, but to truly compete for the AL Crown we need excellence.

Look, I know what you're saying. How can I not be happy with BJ saving the game? So what if he allowed two base runners? And not to nitpick, I am pleased. But my ninth inning ulcer flared up for a solid half an inning and for a while it looked like my appendix would swell to the size of the Skydome and rupture as Pudge and Guillen both singled to reach base.

While three strikeouts in the ninth is nothing to shake a Louisville at, no sir, the truly dominant teams have a closer that make batters STODC (shit the on deck circle). When they take the hill in the ninth, there is nothing short of a pre-emptive nuclear strike from a reformed Soviet Union that will, remotely throw them off their game.

Look would you shut up already? I know Ryan is coming back from Tommy John surgery and early no less, and that command is the last thing to return after said surgery, but I am impatient today. Perhaps it's the accumulated years of watching the likes of Miguel Batista and Jeremy Accardo routinely blow late season games.

Ryan definitely has the stuff to join the ranks of Jonathon Papelbon, and Mariano Rivera and Trevor Hoffman (in his prime), but when he does he will have to be able to quell my ninth inning ulcer for good.

A Brutal Display

UFC President, Dana White, was on TSN's "Off The Record" and how he managed to restrain himself from putting the host, Michael Landsberg, into a scissor hold and ground and pounding him senseless is beyond me. Never have I seen such a brutal display of sports "journalism" as Landsberg needled White like a catty 14 year old girl jockeying for position at cheer leading tryouts.

Constantly calling into question the brutal nature of the mixed martial arts, Landsberg even went as low as asking White if he would allow his 12 year old kids to compete. White responded saying he would allow them to enter the Octagon over lining up in football.

The conversation got more heated and devolved passed the ridiculous, and no one was stating the obivious.

What about hockey?

It was brought to light on the show that Ontario is the only province not to sanction the UFC, on grounds that it is too brutal, but are these same law makers Leafs fans? Did they cheer on Tie Domie in his many on icebare knuckle brawls over the years?

The rationale is completely ludicrous. The city of Vancouver has banned MMA events as well, but yet if Burrows or Cowan are tilting (sort of...) at GM Place, it's the next best thing to making the playoffs.

White contended on OTR that he worked extremely hard over the years to make the UFC a legitimate, sanctioned sport and here he was, the day before the UFC's inaugural bout in Canada, being treated like a some shifty cock fighting promoter. By a guy that has publicly endorsed hockey fighting on his show many, many times.

Let's just think about this for a second. Hockey fighting good, UFC bad? When:

1. MMA fighters are trained martial artists who at the very least wear gloves. Hockey pugilists drop theirs to throw wild hay makers at each other.

2. MMA is a sanctioned sport in which two willing combatants face off in a ring against each other. While their is tacit consent in hockey that allows fighting, it is officially not included in the game. And the combatants are not always willing. Just ask Patty Roy's son. Or Steve Moore.

3. Foreign objects are in no way allowed in MMA, yet in hockey, there have been plenty of incidents with sticks being flung around like samurai swords. More recently skate blades have entered the picture as Chris Pronger and Chris Simon both got suspensions for stepping on players.

Speaking as a trained martial artist, I would never take part in a full contact event as I wouldn't want to risk multiple head traumas. But that being said, I love watching the UFC and those that take the risk. MMA is a sport that requires strategy as well as superior training and physical conditioning. I will be rooting for George St. Pierre tomorrow alongside the 20 000+ at the Bell Centre in Montreal, the legions of others across the nation as he takes on Matt Serra in the very sanctioned and very legitimate UFC 83.

What's In A Name?

I have maintained for a long time that one of the biggest problems in hockey, is not the increase in dirty play but rather the lack of acceptable nicknames amongst players. Teammates routinely slap an "-er" or the dreaded "y" on each other's given names in hopes of it passing for a legitimate locker room moniker. The result being a plethora of uncreative nicknames being bandied around the League and in the media. The likes of "Nazzy", "Bertie", and "Kipper" are all too common. And all too acceptable in the hockey sphere.

Rarely will I redirect you Maniwaki faithful to an exterior source for a complete analysis on a specific subject, but because this article makes contact with the barrel of the Louisville Slugger perfectly, I have no choice but to submit it to the spectacle. Please peruse at your leisure, the best nicknames in the Bigs.

Everyone in the NHL, as well as every junior league around the world, please pay heed.

Sid Seals It

Nice to see The Kid put the finishing touches on the first round sweep of the Sens. As well as seeing Mario in the owner's box giving his nod of approval. Sticking to my framework of cheering for hockey during the playoffs, I, like Mario, am standing on the balcony of my private Maniwaki box clapping for the lads. Here's an organization that has been kicking for 40 years, boasts two Cup titles, yet not long ago was in the League cellar and on the verge of relocating to Kansas.

Mario, as well as battling Hodgekins disease, kept the team afloat for a spell by forking out his own money, and then eventually managed to secure a deal to keep the team in Pittsburgh. He put a front office in place that so far have made bold and successful moves. Whether they win The Cup or not, I am officially awarding them the Maniwaki Major League Award (named for the classic '89 flick) for Outstanding Achievement In Avoiding Relocation And Turning Your Squad Into A Legitimate Contender.

Stumped

Ok, I've been trying to figure out what's going on in Baltimore and I swear you can douse me with orange paint and call me Eddie Murray because I haven't got the slightest clue.

After predicting this squad to finish dead last in the entire majors this year, I am now as shocked as everyone else to see them leading the Div with a record of 8-5. Yes, it is very early and no I don't expect them to be playing like this all season, but really. I didn't expect them to win 8 games in the first month of regular season play, never mind the first two weeks.

In search of answers I scoured the net. It must be former Atlanta Braves pitching coach, Leo Mazzone who was responsible for this hot start. Only the man who sculpted the Braves' rotation of the '90's into the modern day Michelangelo David that it was creating a new masterpiece in Baltimore. But apparently not, as I found that Leo was let go from the O's last October.

Apparently these cats are getting it done from all angles. Kevin Millar is cracking in Camden, batting .346. Nick Markakis and Brian Roberts are also smacking over .300. The middle relief is nailing down their innings and even the recently named closer, George Sherril, who I mocked in my preview is ranked #1 in fantasy circles with six saves.

Light years beyond unbelievable.

Will it last? I'm inclined to say no, but if we look over at the AL Central's standings it appears that one's web browser would be on the fritz as we see Kansas in first and Detroit in dead last with only three wins.

Have we entered the Bizzarro universe without being informed?

I know. What the fuck?

The Conch Passeth Back

True story. I'm spouting off at work to Ronnie Big Time about how the Pens took so much heat for giving up too much in the Hossa deal at the deadline, but now here they were totally decimating the Senators in the first round, Hossa being a huge contributer. And that if the Canucks would've been able to part with one of the many, many young guns in the ranks ie Kesler and/or Bourdon, we'd have probably been sniping our way to the next round as well.

Not two seconds later the headline scrolled across the TV, "...Nonis Fired."

And at that moment, The Conch returned home. Like a free spirit son in the '60's, we don't know how long it will stick around. A day? A week? A playoff run? A full baseball season? Or perhaps it has already packed up and is walking another dusty road to its next home. Regardless, it was nice to bask in its prophetic radiance if only for a spell.

One of my Stanley Park co-workers perhaps briefly stepped into the perimeter of its aura, as he immediately tabled a bold and outlandish scenario:

Trevor Linden, GM?

Down With Downs/ BJ Is Back

Continuing with the recent string of solid bullpen performances, hats off goes to Scott Downs of the Jays as he pitched out of a nasty bases loaded jam in Texas this afternoon. The lefty and former shaky starter for the Expos, has created a niche for himself as bona fide middle reliever in Toronto over the last few years. So far this season he has played in only five games, pitching only six innings, but he has yet to allow a single run.

[As I'm writing this the game is still on. It's the mid 10th the Jays have taken the lead 5-4, and we're about to see the first appearance of BJ Ryan since his Tommy John surgery last year. We continue on this post in play by play mode...]

First two pitches. Two strikes. BJ is back.

Third pitch. Yikes. Marlon Byrd has just hit a triple. The tying run is on third. None out. I'm scared.

Some luck. An infield grounder to Eckstein, which he fires over to first for the first out.

More luck. Milton Bradley fouls off a shallow pop up to third, holding Byrd at third. Two outs. Still 5-4 Jays.

Another scare. Alex Rios gets on his horse to rob Gerald Laird of what looked to be a sure bloop single. Game over.

Jays 5. Rangers 4. Solid middle relief and the successful return of BJ Ryan as the Jays two-step their way out of Texas with a sweep.

After watching many, many shanked one run games over the last few seasons (as well as a few recently) this game has done wonders for my nagging Blue Jays late inning ulcer.

Jiggy At The Mound

So with two Yanks on base in the eighth in a 4-3 squeaker at Fenway, the baseball gods decided to do what they do best. Namely, meddle in the affairs of mortal men. The test subject this time? Jonathon Papelbon.

Papelbon was warming up to face A-Rod (the potential third out) in the eighth when the heavens opened up to kick off a two hour rain delay. In which Paplebon stayed warm the entire time.

"My whole goal was just not to sit down during the rain delay, just keep my blood flowing. I definitely had to stay in the right mind-set the whole time. I never let it go. ... I stayed there the entire time. I maintained my intensity."

Sure did as went on to strike out A-Rod on three straight pitches. And then waltzed (or jigged) his way through a perfect ninth to preserve the fragile lead and earn the save.

This is unheard of. Teams that allow Yank runners on base during the late innings almost always doom themselves to the Big Bronx Machine, and leave in tears with no ice cream.

Paplebon not only pitched out of the snafu he did it after being on hold for two hours. It was as if he was swallowed by a boa constrictor and instead of being slowly digested, he kept warm in the belly of the beast, only to rip it to shreds and emerge victorious.

New England poet laureates should be busy writing pages and pages of prose about this legendary feat. When a definitive version becomes apparent, perhaps it should be called, "Jiggy At The Mound."

Ed Sprague Ain't Innocent But He Ain't A Juicer!!!

Yeah, he admitted today to taking androstenedione and amphetamines back when he was with the Jays, but at the time it was not banned by baseball. This is the same andro that Big Mac used when he broke Maris' record in '98.

What's not so juice is the fact that he also admitted to using a corked bat for one at bat in his career and then never doing it again for fear of getting caught. Now here's an item that has been banned since the dawn of time. Even caveman would kicked out of the tribe for a month if they got caught bringing down a saber tooth with a corked club.

Waving A Pennant For Hockey

Since the Jays have shanked another one to Oakland, let's see what's going on in the Stanley Cup Playoffs. With the Canucks out, I'm surveying the entire NHL landscape and taking in all of the great parts of the game. Kind of like proud father who's got four sons on four different teams and each team is playing at the weekend tourney. He's not cheering for one squad. He can't. He's cheering for hockey. And so am I.

And who has caught my eye so far in the early days of these 07/08 Playoffs?

1. San Jo-fucking-zay. Whoa. Just caught the last few minutes of the tilt last night where they were down 3-1 to Calgary. Then after pulling Nabokov, managed to come with in one. And then proceeded to throw everything at the Flames (kitchen sink included) at Kiprusoff for a solid minute. I have never been actually scared for a team in my life, and I was more than mildly concerned for Calgary. At one point I figured that Marleau would plant himself, gear up with a shoulder mounted rocket launcher and get all "Red Dawn." Calgary didn't dodge a bullet last night. They dodged a missile.

2. The Canadiens. Let's just see a stacked Montreal Hockey Team take to the ice against original six foe, Boston. In the playoffs. My god how can this be a bad thing? The sound coming from the Bell Centre tonight rivalled that of the Westminster Abbey Choir. Although highly unlikely, who doesn't want this series to go seven games?




Round 143! Bing!

Red Carpet Stroll To The Post Season

The issue that most needs addressing in the Canucks front office this off season is not goal scoring, draft picks, or the fate of Markus Naslund. It is what to do about these brutal uniforms.

Consider. The Capitals, who made and incredible push to the post season, solidified not only a spot but the South Eastern Division crown on the final day of the regular season. Why? In addition to Ovechkin, the squad sports the tightest unis in the league, perhaps even the best non-classic get up in pro sport.



Contrast with. The Canucks, who were in contention for top spot in the Northwest dropp...(no need to revisit. we all know what happened...)



This is difference as to why Washington is playing tonight in the first round and we're firing up the X-Box.

All Is Forgiven

I love baseball. Sometimes it just gives back. Bill Buckner threw out the opening pitch at the Red Sox home opener and 2007 World Series Ring presentation today. A packed Fenway cheered him on as he took the mound and tossed the ceremonial first pitch.

As his infamous gaffe helped cost the '86 Red Sox the World Series, he has always been the focal point of the collapse. But in the spirit of the day, I would like to submit the following:

1. Watch that game again. They ALL blew it. The pitching in the late innings was shite and the entire squad contributed to the epic collapse. Buckner shanking the ground ball capped off two innings of Red Sox SYSS (Shit Your Shea Stadium).

2. The '86 Mets are probably the most infamous rock star squad ever to hit the pitch in any sport. They could've easily thrown down with the Crue during those days. We're talking Darryl Strawberry in his coke fuelled prime regularly chopping lines in the back of the Mets plane. The guy was the Tony Montana of MLB, and had Keith Hernandez as his Manny. Tales of mounds and mounds of blow and of wife swapping in the cramped air liner bathrooms have been regaled throughout the years. If any team was destined to win The Series that year it was them. They could do no wrong. Hell, they won both the East and the entire National League high as shit. Nikki Sixx? Please...

3. The '86 Red Sox brought in the latest generation of hard luck fans into their ranks (myself being one of them). While the Jays always did and always will rule the roost, after '86 the Sox claimed a special piece of real estate in my baseball heart. I was rooting for them that October, and after experiencing such a knife twisting heart breaker (the worst I had ever seen up to that point), I officially became indoctrinated into The Nation as a reserve member. The Red Sox would always remain my go to team in the AL if the Jays tanked.

4. It's just nice to see the organization officially say, "Thanks. All is forgiven." It's like he's been in prison for 20 years and has just been pardoned by the state. This is really good for baseball.

Thanks for bringing us into The Nation, Bill.

Opening Week MLB Ticker

...Jeter leaves today's game vs the Rays with a leg injury. A faith healer appeared from the Tampa dug out, spoke in tongues, smacked the short stop on the dome and all was well. D-Jeets did backflips back out to the field like he was Ozzie Smith in '86...

...Jose Guillen's steroid suspension should start soon unless MLB decides to postpone it again. They are in the midst of "toughening up" their drug policy, so the thinking is that Guillen will serve a stiffer penalty under the revised policy. If MLB sticks to their usual schedule for getting things done, Jose will probably start serving his suspension in 15 years, after he has hit 816 home runs. While being juiced on some alien super steroid the entire time...

...In which Selig will still undoubtedly be Commissioner, wearing a dark robe, and having a 200 year old mug that's been twisted by the dark side...

...the Nationals, after going 3-0, have dropped their last five in a row. Let the Maniwaki Curse continue...

...speaking of dropping a bunch of games, what the fuck is going on in Detroit? 0-6 when every pundit picked them to own the AL? Maybe I put sacrificed too many roosters when cursing the Nats. Sorry Maggs...

...or maybe not enough? What the fuck's going on in Baltimore? 5-1? First week I know but they've already won 10% of the entire amount of games that everyone expected them to all year. Would someone tell them what division they're playing in..?

Help From Above

So the draft in our keeper league went today. There were some triumphs - getting the first overall pick and picking up a solid catcher, Russel Martin from the Dodgers. Some dropped balls - drafting Tampa Bay's Evan Longoria waaaayyy to high only to find out he's going down to the minors tomorrow. And some intuition that I'm sure was being given from the baseball gods up high.

Case in point. I was going to pick up Nick Swisher from the Chi Sox as he was ranked pretty high, and I needed an outfielder. But something was telling me no. For the love of the game don't draft him. So didn't. And went to work, turned on White Sox/Detroit and saw this:



Seeing as the Mauler has a standing policy against ridiculous dyed beards, I can not thank the deities for intervening enough.

Let's! Play! Ball!

If you are a ball fan and can't get jacked up about the '08 Jays already, you must have ice in your veins.

Last night's home opener at the Skydome was a display that we have not witnessed since the late '80's or early '90's. A packed dome of 50 000+ all going bonkers in an absolute gem of a home opener vs the Sox.

Complete with bunting in the stands and the Jays wearing retro powder blue unis, it was as if it was October '89 and Dave Steib was about to take the hill.

In the pregame, Robbie Alomar and Jay's first employee, Paul Beeston got the rafter treatment by getting inducted into the Jays' Level Of Excellence.

And the game itself was one for the big blue books. A pitching duel between Shaun Marcum and Tim Wakefield that got exploded after New Brunswick native, veteran, Matt Stairs launched one to make it 1-0. Which turned the match into a good old American League bash fest. J.D. Drew drew the Sox even with a 3 run jack, but the Jays managed to get the lead again off a clutch Frank Thomas double.

Frank Thomas huffing it to second in his powder blues as the crowd was blowing the roof of the dome is an image that should be framed and hung in the Good For Baseball Hall Of Fame.

This was one for the books.





















Thomas: Blasting one straight out of '85.

Standing By The Squad

Don't worry lads, it was a tough one, but I still stand by you.

It happens. Really. I'm happier you exited now rather than soldiering on through two or three rounds of excruciating triple OT and dropping out then. All or nothing. If this year it isn't meant to be it isn't meant to be. No sweat.

There a lot of positives that will be built on for next year. More young guns than Emilio, Charlie and Keefer in their prime. An emerging D. The best goalie in the League. As well as some of the most solid veterans in the game. T. Linden, promise us you've got another year. Markus, we want our Captain back. Nonis, do your damndest to make it happen. And all of you don't sweat those motherfuckers in the stands that were actually booing. They will be addressed soon in these e-pages.

For now let's just hoist one for the 07/08 Canucks. Thanks men.

OPENING VOLLEYS

Some lingering thoughts after watching the first few games of the season...

... The following question was posed to Steve Phillips on TV yesterday: "Should the Milwaukee Brewers be concerned about Eric Gagne?" How preposterous! Ludicrous, says I! Why on Earth should a team be concerned about spending 1/8 of their payroll on a pitcher with elbow problems, who hasn't been effective in three years, and proved beyond a shadow of a doubt last season that he's lost his stuff? What could they possibly be worried about?...

... Apparently my head was in the sand all winter, as I hadn't heard anything until now about a deal that was on the table between the Jays and Giants: Alex Rios for Tim Lincecum. If you're JP Ricciardi, how do you not pull the trigger on that? Ok... I realize there's going to be some backlash here from Jays fans, but I'll have none of it. Seriously. Given how thin pitching is in the AL, how do you not do whatever you can to bring in an extra quality starter? Was Rios's .297-24-85 THAT irreplaceable? How about chalking up an extra 10-spot in the W column instead? Trust me, kids. In the AL East, that's the difference between making the playoffs vs. "we're going to finish a 'strong' third this year"...

... Pedro. Yikes. See you in Cooperstown in July 2013. It's been fun...

... Two words: Kerry Wood. One word: sadness...

... Will 85 wins be enough to take the NL Central? Sugar Shack head office says "mais oui, bien sur"...

... Is it just me, or does Joe Torre look great in Dodger blue?...

... Speaking of which, was there a more appropriate replacement in the Bronx than Joe Girardi? He just looks like a Yankeee...

... Does anyone else see the parallels between Robert the Bruce from Braveheart and Hank Steinbrenner? Can't you just picture a withering father George sitting upright in bed, still giving the commands to an unwitting son, but unable to be seen in public?...

... The Kansas City Royals are on pace to go 162-0. Atta go, boys!! I knew this was our year!!...

... Remember when Barry Zito was good?...

... Would Monsieur Ripken crack the O's starting lineup? (Billy, not Cal)...

... Finally, there's been a lot of crap thrown around talking about how great the Tigers offense is going to be. Hell, a Detroit columnist went out and said they might be the greatest in history. WHAT?? Are you kidding? Would you PLLEEEAASSSEE get ahold of yourselves? First of all, there's a certain Bronx squad from 1927 that may have a few things to say about that. Secondly, they might not even have the most punch in the league... this year ... never mind all teams of all time...

- the Skip

O.K. A.J.

So A.J. rolls into The Stadium tonight and pitches six innings of shut out ball until A-Rod jacks a two run bong. Which ended A.J.'s night, to the tune of Jays 5 Yanks 2, a score which stood up.

Two games into the season and here's what I'm digging about the '08 Jays:

1. New catcher Rod Barajas. How about gunning down Bobby Abreu trying to steal second and then going two for four? Who is this guy? A genetically engineered clone of Pudge Rodriguez?

2. Fill in 3B, Marco Scutaro showing some sick defensive skills.

3. The bullpen nailing shit down. Brian Tallet sat every Yank batter down in the seventh and eighth striking out three. Nasty ass. Then Jeremy Accardo game in to close and shanked it a bit allowing a couple of base runners but then redeemed himself by striking out A-Rod. There is almost nothing I love more than seeing A-Rod whiff with the game on the line.

4. Shannon Stewart back in a Jays uni, getting a hit in his first at bat of the game.

5. Vernon Wells waking up EARLY in '08 and launching a key jack in the third.

6. The emergence of Alex Rios into a bona fide superstar. Like Manny or Papi or Derick Lee, you just expect him to get on base every time he is up.

7. The fact that Scott Rolen and B.J. Ryan have yet to show up.

Attn: David Eckstien. Please read all of the above. If you have any hope at all of making me remotely root for you, you are going to have to better than go 0-4.

Staying The Course

I'm sticking to my story and not sweating the fact that tonight:

1. we were up 2-0 on Colorado while St. Louis was ahead of ninth place Nashville 3-0.

2. that the leads in both games evaporated as both the Avs and Blues scored four unanswered goals in their respective games.

3. that the final tally of Colorado 4 Vancouver 3 and Nashville 4 St. Louis 3 resulted in the Avs clinching a playoff spot and;

4. Nashville taking ours.

5. the Canucks playoff destiny now relies on the Predators tanking to the Blackhawks and/or the Blues in Nashville's final two contests while;

6. we have to pretty much beat both Edmonton and Calgary in our final two.

Not worried in the slightest. As always the Canucks play better when their back is up against the wall and right now the walls are closing in faster than the trash compactor in Star Wars which will certainly result in a first round date in Detroit.