Sasky Rules

After seeing GWAR for the first time this month, I have to commend the Saskatchewan Roughriders defence for doing their best impression of Oderous Urungus and the lads by swinging their Arctic Swords, wrecking shop on the Winnipeg Bluebombers.

The usually sniper accurate Riders offence faltered a tad during the game, (nerves I'm sure) and in the early minutes it looked like we could be in for a heart breaker. But the men found their footing and won the day. After the Riders hoisted their first Grey Cup in close to 20 years, I was sure that the province itself would heave up from the rest of the country forming it's own continent. Seeing the home town squad win the top prize is a rare occurrence and when it does happen you have to savour it for as long as you can. I expect it to permeate through the Christmas Holidays, all the way through '08 and well into the next decade.

The Perogy Bowl Pre-Game

Well check it out. Sasky in the Grey Cup. The last time I witnessed this was in '89 when the Riders won in the final seconds on a successful field goal kick by Dave Ridgeway. To describe the aftermath would be impossible. It was as if the entire province did one big shot of Jagermeister and head butted the rest of the nation. Just epic.

The week leading up to the Game, the media coverage for the Riders and their fans pretty much outshone that of the BlueBombers. There is a reason for that. Riders fans are completely insane. The Spouse works with the wife of one of the BC Lions coaches. She has told the Spouse that Riders fans without a doubt are the most fanatical. Always the loudest and always causing a ruckus. If European football hooliganry ever started in North America, the Riders would definitely be one of the top firms.

Want proof? After Sasky won the Western Final last week here in Van, they flew back to Regina stepped off the plane and were greeted by a thousand Riders fans. At 1:30 in the morning. That's 0.001% of the population of the province. Just showing up to say, "good job."

Sasky sports fans, myself being one of them, are fiercely passionate as well as knowledgeable. (Which of course you know from reading this blog regularly.) Saskatchewan supplies the NHL with the highest percentage of players per capita. But we have no big league team of our own, save for the Roughriders. So when a National Championship is in the mix, it is so gargantuan that it would put the Rapture itself on hold.

The Rider Nation is so formidable I would put it up against the Philly Faithful and possibly even the RedSox nation itself. Because if need be, the entire province of Saskatchewan can assemble itself into the giant lurking creature contraption described Clive Barker's "In The Hills The Cities..) This beast was a huge harness that was composed entirely of townspeople. A giant standing stories high, that could walk, and move. And punch. Imagine this but with a provincial population.

Will Winnipeg show up to the Skydome this afternoon?

WAY TO GO CANADA EAST!!!!

First things first.

A Canada Size Congrats to Team Canada East for giving a gritty performance on opposing ice in the Gold Medal Game of the World Junior A Challenge. Just spectacular.

The Canadian Dangler and the Eastern lads, after beating Germany on Thursday night, advanced to the Final Scrum Sunday night in Nelson against their Western counterparts. The result was as follows:

Canada Won.

Yes, the West clinched the Gold, but the victory was nationwide. The fact that both Canadian teams advanced to the Gold Medal Game was yet another testament to the system that this country has produced since Sir John A was PM.

The international squads playing in the tourney were no push overs. The Russians gave a solid showing harkening back to the days of Vladislav Tretiak and the CCCP. I would not be surprised that when they get off the plane, they manage to start another revoloution in the mother country which will institute a required return to Communism only for international hockey events. Put simply, the Russians are tough, but the Soviets are intimidating.

The Yanks, in direct opposition to their free falling dollar, are looking more and more like the Miracle On Ice. Their system is getting tighter by the season. So much so that I wonder if they'll try and commandeer a remote island off Nunavat as the 51st state, and run camps on it for three years. I highly expect to see a US squad playing in GM place in the Gold Medal Game in 2010.

Yet despite a solid international showing, the Eastern and Western sectors of the Great White North squared off for the finale. The game was spirited. East leading off the scoring in the first with #12 Corey Trivino smacking one in (assisted by #9 James McIntosh and The Dangler). Then this kid Zac Dalpe from the West decided to tie his skates extra tight, eat his wheaties and pull off a hat trick. The number 12 seemed to be the digit for the night as the Joe Colborne for the West also flicked one in.

All of which made the over-capacity crowd in Trail go bonkers. Being a Western Canadian resident, I must point out that the crowd should be credited with an assist on every goal. Hockey in Western Canada is akin to a radical fundamentalist religion which attract highly devoted members, even pocket sects of extremist suicide bombers. Deadly serious and certifiably insane.

The fact that the East kept it a match in such a rabid enviro is HIGHLY commendable as the lads did their country proud by playing with heart and with honour. The Dangler laced a couple from the blue line and his compadres made many solid drives to the net, as well as many hacks in battles in the corners. They played the Canadian Way and that is all that anyone can ask of them.

Although the Junior A Challenge Gold eluded Canada East, I am officially awarding the squad the Maniwaki Mauler Gold.

Good show.

LA/Van- Match Notes

So David Beckham and the Los Angeles Galaxy Experiment were in town last night playing to a crowd of 48 000 at BC Place. Not lucking out as I did when Nash and the Suns rolled in , I was able to find the match on GOLTV on the big screen at work. Not being a rabid soccer fan, (you won't be seeing me swilling pints and tossing molotov cocktails on "The Real Football Factories" anytime soon), I did however make these observations:

1. Why does anyone that has to do with soccer in this city look like they stepped straight out of 1985? I realize that this was the heyday for the Canadian game, but let's get in the 21st Century. Half of the Whitecaps looked like they were paying homage to Corbin Bernsen when he was on LA Law. Some of them even looked strikingly familiar to players my Dad red carded during the '80s when he was reffing Ontario Men's League Games. Bramalea Thistle being a particular ornery bunch I recall....

2. Soccer is an exciting game. Sure goals are few and far between (nonexistent in this game. 0-0 Final), but it still had me checking in on a regular basis. Watching Whitecap, Eduardo Sebrango get tackled by the Galaxy keeper on what would've been a sure goal and then getting stuffed the resulting penalty kick, had me on the edge of my bar. Although it also made me want to march down to BC Place and give Sebrango a Canucks uni.

3. Becks is a pretty likable cat. Every interview I've seen or read with him regarding this match has been pro. Whilst many say that his skills have dwindled, he still appeared to be effective on the field. He didn't go through the detested, melodramatic "lie-on-the field-and-wince-in-pain" routine after getting hard tackled in the first half. With players like Christiano Ronaldo bitching it up on the pitch on a regular basis, Becks looks like Mark Messier in comparison.

4. Like the NBA preseason game at GM Place, it solidified that this city needs another Big League sporting option to the Canucks. As an MLS squad is most likely to be awarded to Vancouver after the stadium gets built we will just have to fire up a few extra matches of FIFA '08 on the vid console until then.

All's Well On The Eastern Front

So far Team Canada East is a respectable 1-1 in the World Junior A Challenge. After going a perfect 2-0 in exhibition play, the squad put up a W, going 4-1 against Belarus on Day 1 of the tourney. A tough OT loss to the Yanks followed tonight 3-2, but no matter, I'm sure the lads will leave it on the ice and regroup for final game of the prelims Thursday vs Germany. All in all a solid showing.



Now here are some Canucks worth cheering for.





If Canada West, who is also 1-1, end up playing their Eastern counterpart in the play off round, will it cause a rift in the fabric of the Nation?

If so, will it be as divisive as the Quebec Separation Referendum of '95?

Could this tournament unwittingly do what René Lévesque and the subsequent generation of Québécois separatists could not?

Very Bad For Baseball

Video Replay.

That's what 25 out of 30 MLB GMs voted in favour of today. The proposed system would be implemented to "help" judge controversial boundary calls like home runs hitting the line and bouncing back and fan interference. To this I can only say one thing:

Way to go Fuckheads.

Way to take the call out of the Umpires' sphere, putting it in the hands of some shmuck in a booth in Milwaukee or Scranton or Kalamzoo. If you haven't realized there's a reason why they call this the "Grand Old Game". It's because for over 100 years the game was doing just fine. Oh sure there has been a botched call here and a misjudged jack there, and yes from time to time these gaffes have resulted in some unearned runs being scored. Games and even series have been turned at times.

But not that many.

Not enough to warrant the introduction of the camera lens into the Umpiring Crew. The reality is that Big League Officials are just that. Big League. The amount of calls (and tough calls at that) that they do get right is stunning. Calls made during key moments, in big games. Pennant race games. Playoff games. World Series games. As a fan who watches probably waaayyyy too many of these contests I would reckon the percentage of precision decision making hovers around 99.9%. The boys in black rarely screw up.

So why would the GM's vote in favour of such ridiculousness? Did their team end up on the wrong side of Bartman bleachers? Did they get robbed of a couple runs in a pivotal game? Did they have to continue on in an excruciating inning when it should have been over. Most likely. But which squad hasn't? Everybody gets a shafted at one time or another. Everyone.

To bring in video replay is bad for baseball because it opens the door for more technological "assistance". If replay for boundary calls are allowed (they'll need Commish, Players' Union, and Owners' approval) will base running calls be next? How about balls and strikes? Will Steve Job's be proudly announcing the new I-Ump at Macworld Expo 2017?

And it doesn't even necessarily insure flawless officiating. Just ask the '99 Buffalo Sabres who got shafted in triple OT in Game 6 of the Cup final when replay showed Brett Hull's skate clearly in the crease of the cup winning goal. That year, countless goals had been called back when video replay judged an opposing player was in the goalie's crease. Countless lamps lit then unlit in the name of fair play, but when it really mattered, the system collapsed.

These 25 GMs should take a hard look at the NHL model that they want to base their system on and ask themselves if putting some monkeys in a room full of monitors will really help get their squad win a World Series Championship. Or will it severely compromise the integrity of a game that has been played for a over a century without it?

Guy Fawking Ticker

"Remember, remember, the 5th of November..."

After a four day retreat on the Isle of Van, what better time to get back to blogging anarchism then to fire off an entry on Guy Fawkes Day. I hope you had a good one. If you haven't gone full out, plotting to blow up parlaiment or city hall, let's hope you at least caused a ruckus while waiting in line at the post office. Flinging maple syrop about wildly while demanding Canada Post issue a Bob And Doug Mackezie commemorative stamp.

Or having failed that let's hope you rented a copy of "V For Vendetta" and skipped the ending. Or even better, hunkered down with the original graphic novel.



















So having said that let's throw some Crass on the jukebox and ignite the fuse on the ticker:


....Torre says, "Fuck You Boss! I'm going to L.A." and is formally introduced as the new skipper of the Dodgers. Never mind bombing parlaiment...isn't it apt that the DeathStar that is the Yankees organization is getting the proverbial proton torpedoing as of late? A-Rod opts gives them the Sid Vicious sneer, as does Pettitte and most likely Rivera...

....Becks hits Van. In complete contrast to anything remotely resembling UK anarcho punk, David Beckham and the LA Galaxy (even sounds like a vomit inducing '70's stadium rock act) rolled in off the plane today for their friendly vs the hometown Whitecaps on Wednesday night. 41 000 tix sold so far...let's hope this has more to offer than "Frampton Comes Alive"...

...Brady, Belichik and the Patriots say fuck you to everyone...they steal the other team's plays...they get repremanded by the League...they draw the scorn of everyone not from New England...they still haven't lost this season...and probably won't...maybe not even next season either...

...I say Fuck You to the NFL...it just can't hold my interest...sure I'll watch the Super Bowl...sure I'll get a kick out of T.O. shooting his mouth off on the highlight reels...but if you're into gambling here's one safe bet...tell your bookie...On Any Given Sunday, I will not be flopped out on my couch, eating pork rinds, taking in ANY regular season game...

...fighting is up in the NHL...but will armed insurrection against the bourgois follow?...we all know who won in the lockout...will the players take up arms in a surprise gambit against their oppressers two years later? Will a plot to overthrow Bettman as commish and replace him with former Canuck, Harold Snepsts come into play?...Is a plan being hatched as we speak??... In insurgent camps littered throughout the Kooteneys by Commandante Snepsts himself?...






Viva La Revolución!!!"