The Keg Runneth Over

It is the end of an era. I sit sipping on the final pint poured from the keg that has been sitting in my apartment for the last four days. A remnant from the weekend's festivities, namely The Spouse's and mine ten year anniversary party. It was a grand affair, a western themed soirée complete with line dancing, Loretta Lynn hairdos and acoustic ballads.

I feel very close to my girlfriend, especially after a decade. We share a bond that cannot be broken.

I also feel a bond with the keg. Although the keg and I have been together for such a short time, we really have been through a lot. I will be sorry to see the l'il guy go. Sitting attentively in the middle of the living room like R2-D2, always eager to help out his master. Instead of hopping like the rambunctious little droid of the films, the keg dispensed delicious hoppy beverages and kept everyone's spirits up. Who needs the force when you have a seemingly unlimited supply of Red Devil Pale Ale?

The keg faithfully provided pint after pint to the guests of the party, and clocked overtime by serving the remaining party goers outside the hall while waiting for cabs. The keg kept going strong throughout the week providing its services for the gift opening we held the next day and it never gave up in the face of adversity. It was there for me when I needed it for two very tough Jays losses to the Yankees which practically handed the division over to the Empire. And just like in the Star Wars films, this R2 unit was the character that you could always count on no matter how prevalent the dark side appeared to be.

I know The Spouse is jealous. She kept inquiring as to how long we would have the keg. She made no effort to hide her disdain and even let out a yelp of glee as the lines sputtered out foam thus signifying the end.

It will be a solemn occasion tomorrow morning as I give the keg a military funeral. Loading him into his shopping cart hearse and making the long, slow march to the restaurant where he will be picked up by the brewmasters and laid to rest in his warehouse Sarcophagus in Surrey.

Thanks little soldier. You did your duty with honour.


Deeet.deeet.doooop.oooop.dooot.doooot.dooot.